American Forces Led Into Battle Against Huns by Ragtag Group of Chinese Soldiers

Day 694, 21:54 • Published in USA USA • by Hari Michaelson
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Let's get down to business
to defeat
the Huns

-Editor-on-the-Edge-
-Hari Michaelson
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Soldiers Teach American Forces About Combat, Friendship, The Luck of Crickets

In Preparation for the combat with the Hun forces on the North American Continent, sources within the American Military today released information relating to their training and deployment with "a ragtag group of misfit Chinese soldiers".

The unit lead by the "strict, but handsome" Captain Li Shang, is comprised of the "lanky and goofy" Ling, the "gruff but loveable" Yao, the "gentle giant" Chein-Po, and the "disturbingly attractive" Ping. There were a number of other soldiers as well whose names were left off the list for "not being important/hilarious enough".


Picture😛 China's deadliest.

The report details the great strides that American forces have made in their time spent training with the unit. "The first few days, the soldiers were rowdy and undisciplined, many were unable to work as a cohesive unit, and Ping blew the hell out of a government auditor's tent." Why such inexperienced and clearly incompetent soldiers were given live artillery is as of yet unclear.


Yes, live fire mishaps *are* this hilarious.

All of this was changed through the use of the ancient Chinese Military secret of the "Musical Montage", the turning point of which was when Ping used his body and his mind to reach "the arrow". "After that, everything fell into place. I'm not sure what catching fish with our hands or cutting stone with our faces has to do with combat, but I'm sure each one will have their own unexpected place in our adventures."

Upon announcement of the attack on Mantioba, the group began their long march to the Northern battlefield. "Yeah, some of the guys were getting down, so I came up with something to lift their spirits!" said the goofy-ass Ling "A girl worth fighting for!" Morale was raised throughout the unit as they regaled each other with their tales and hopes about the women they had left to fight for The Emperor, although few were pleased by Ping's weird "intelligent women" fetish.

Seriously Ping? A brain?

The joy was cut short upon reaching the bloodied hellscape of the Manitoba battlefield. Upon learning of his father's death, the young Captain was cold and distant, only telling his men to "Move out. We're the only hope for the Brolliance now."
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