Join the new world

Notice: I usually hate it when other people continue jokes from other articles but I thought to myself what would happen to me , wrote it down and then published it.

AS you can read here: US Americans are being attacked in rl ,so we must take evasive and immediate action.

I followed the guide lines in the link above and here's what happene😛

"1. Move your grandmother to a secure location.Their operatives may move her to their RL native countries to provide her with free health care, keeping her alive longer, depriving you of inheritance money that could be used to buy gold in eRepublik. You may want to preempt this maneuver by euthanizing your grandmother." - Jack Flufferton.

I took my grandmother on my father's side. She is Italian so the mafia might possibly capture her, so I moved her to a different place where no Italian would go: The Irish gang related neighborhood. A.K.A.: the local Italian's rivals.
I told the Irish gang who she was and they seemed to be happy to have her and that they "Are going to take care of her" . I am sure they will but strangely enough I inherited her money a few days later- I don't what happened but I am sure that the Irish accidentally ran over her, then accidentally burned her ,and then accidentally threw her body into the sea for it only to show up on the beach. ( But know I love my grandparents and I wouldn't do anything to hurt them.)

"2. If they can hack your eRep password, they can hack your online banking password. Go to the bank and withdraw all your money. Sell your stocks and bonds. Blow it on booze and hookers before they can get their hands it. The cheaper they are, the more you get. Keep that in mind."

Check but now I can't pay the bills but aslong as it is for eSA I will buy all the hookers I possibly can. The cheapest ones are in Somalia so I went there ( I worked on erepublik through my iphone but i was low on juice the next day)but because of the inheritance it took me a bit longer and now I can barely walk.


"3. They may cut the power to your house so you miss a day of work, causing you to miss your hard worker reward money. Buy a generator and at least 200 gallons of gasoline. Store the gas in large trash bins in your basement near the furnace to keep the gas warm so it's ready to use at a moment's notice. HW medals are more important than ever now that we cannot force-feed babies, so they'll stop at nothing to interrupt your streak."

I just spent all my money 😞 so I can't afford this, but nevertheless I stole a ship full of gasoline from Arabian crew ships off the coast of Somalia and took my ride home there.....but how am I going to explain the sight of me walking out of the big stolen boat like a cowboy that has ridden a horse for too long?Eh, Somalian third world pirates that kidnapped me and errr used a moving ticket at the last minute? The cops played erepublik so they understood.

As I came home. I realized that my electricity was shut off!!!! I immediately turned on the electricity with my gas powered generator that was hooked up to the boat that was 1000 miles away.
I went outside to guard my house, and I noticed that my neighbor ,who is Indonesian, was smiling alot lately. I believed that he must of been the one that sabotaged my home so I killed him before he could prevent other eMericans from working ,but now that I think of it the electricity may be off because I couldn't pay the bills- no that can't be it.

"4. Use Maya hieroglyphs in your password. Alternatively, invent a new alphabet for your password."

! |_3A|2|\|3|) 1337 (translate: I learned elite speaking [and I am a nerd that spends way too much time on the computer. Girls, please stay away])

"5. Get some friends. As always, don't tell them about the game out of shame and embarrassment (I've managed to keep it under wraps for nine months), but now keep quiet for security as well. The more you're away from the game and don't talk about it, the less likely anyone is to care about hacking your account."

Well I took my friends that knew I played erepublik to the Irish neighborhood (which doesn't play erepublik and plus those Irish gang sure does charge alot for something like this.) so that way they couldn't tell anyone or that people wouldn't even care to listen to. That Irish gang seems to love taking care of anyone cause that's all they said, " Hey , Johnny - This bud wants us to take care of them.....Yeah......yeah he paid a pretty good reward -even enough for bailout. "

Bailout must be a code word for backup food for my friends.....which I could never find again, but I am sure that the irish probably took them on a cruise- those nice Irish gangs