Alastar's Diary

Day 1,195, 21:36 Published in Canada Canada by Dominik

Unlike some of the misleading titles out there, these are actual excerpts from Alastar Aingleis' diary, recently declassified.



January 8


Hahaha! This is going to be awesome, diary. We'll rob the treasury and start a new life in Saudi Arabia. This is too great. I love you, diary.



January 13

Gee, diary, people are being really mean. Is all of this really called for? All I did was support 2 guys who tried to tear a country apart for their own personal benefit. Why can't everybody just be nice? Oh, diary, at least I always have you.



January 18


This Saltydog guy isn't being very nice. Neither are a lot of people, actually. Do I have ANY friends out there? Well, at least Rolo still loves me. And you, diary. I'll always have you.



January 23


Rolo hit me again today. He used the thick belt this time. I don't know if my bruises will ever go away. He means well. I was insolent. I shouldn't have said anything.



February 4

Rolo is running for president again. I'm sure he'll win. Maybe he'll act nicer to me once he does.


February 6

He didn't win. Every inch of my body hurts. Haven't made love in weeks. Starting to get really lonely. Even thinking of an affair. OH MY GOD! I can hear him coming. He's been drinking again... love you, diary.


February 10


HAHAHA All eyes are on me! I hijacked the DAL's name. Everybody cares. Maybe I should buy some votes in case they don't. Just one or two hundred for good measure. Too bad the only people subscribed to my paper are multies. And you, diary, of course.


February 14


I haven't been writing as often as I'd like to, diary. But we've been plotting something. Tee-hee. There's no way they'll manage to stop me and Rolo now. We're going to control 3 parties! It'll be great! Everything will be back to normal.


February 15

What... but. OH NO! Maybe I can spare 3 multies to get NorseFire back... nope. Well, this is, um.... hehe.


February 17

I had to leave Rolo. I'm not sure how I will make a living now. Maybe writing subpar trolling articles will get me some cash. I'm living at my mother's now, but she won't let me stay long. Need to find a place to crash...


February 20

I'm so lonely. Wes hasn't talked to me. Rolo is gone. I need a friend to talk to, you know. I mean, I love you and all diary, but I just need a human ear to listen to. I think I might be going mad.


February 22

Good news, diary! I found a friend! Addy Lawrence is going to let me stay at his place! And I can run for congress too! This won't look shady at all. Addy and I are going to be the best of buds!


February 25


Multie here, multie there, bought vote here, gullible two-clicker there. Perfect! 9am and already secured. It's an honour to run as a MOO candidate. The MOO team is filled with trustworthy individuals like myself and Termz. And Addy too! He isn't on Rolo's payroll, of course. Only a madman would think that. Addy is a smart guy. Nobody understands what goes on in that complex mind of his. I might not even need you, diary.


February 27


People are still being mean? Dominik? Rylde? Why do these people have to point out that I'm a deceptive criminal with ties to notorious thieves? I think I'll embarrass them by posting exactly what they already said verbatim in an article. That's sure to knock them into submission! Well, diary- wait. Where are you going? Diary, no! I need you! Addy isn't as good a listener as you, I just- OH NO, DIARY! NOT THE THICK BELT AGAIN! I DIDN'T I DON'T WANT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!