Join the new world

Some how one day I found myself in a strange place..... This place is known to some as Australia.

I couldn't understand what they were saying....
"Oi reckon mayte ge the esky le me flick this bogan, Ilene. Pu a snag on the barbie fo me"

I see it may be derivative for English, but it is its own distinct savage language.

While I was there I heard about 3 mountains out in the savage lands where Mel Gibson patrols the streets keeping us safe from rape and bikers.

I decided to ascend the first mountain. When I got to the top there was a man speaking in some strange language. "Wahcaktoooopeem Ramagooooo teledokookookookookookookookookookookoo" One student said, "Oooooh wisdom"
"What wisdom"
"The wisdom of universal language"
"Can you translate from English to Universal?"
"Bro you can't translate Universal communicates information in a completely different way from language"
"Do you even understand anything, wait a bit that guy isn't even Asian he just has his eyes taped weird and painted himself yellow. Isn't this racist?"
"This man is no ready for wisdom!"

So I climbed the second mountain and when I got there I saw a man in a suit. I just walked up to the guy... no students surrounded him... there was nothing but papers covering the walls. So I walked up to him and he told me the greatest plan of all. He described how we can feed the world, eliminate the government debt, solve the Palestinian-Israeli conflict, establish a global minimum wage, reduce taxes, end religion, give free education to the world, make 2 seasons of game a thrones per year forever, and more! Then he leaned over to me and said we just need to stop eating meat and love your fellow brother, honestly. So obviously I need to press on and try to find enlightenment in the next mountain.

So after a long trek I finally arrived at the final destination. Few people have made it this far. I sat down and listened to his lesson.
"There are these so called straight men! They are always having sex with women. I ask you are you so insecure with your sexuality that you need to be constantly proving it. The gayest man is the straightest man. You faggots out there always having sex with women its time to stop. Admit your gay!"

So I studied many years under this man and gained so much wisdom, but my journey did not end in Australia.