A new problem!

Day 887, 15:41 • Published in Denmark Denmark • by HoeMarx
Medical emergency!

The Chief of Surgery has announced that there is an epidemic sweeping the nation. During the last 24 hours, 187 citizens have been admitted to the Q5 Hospital in Copenhagen. The entire staff has been extremely busy, treating all the patients. At 0😇0 CET, the Chief of Surgery compiled his statistics on the events of this hectic day.

The diagnoses
65 citizens were diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder, and later reclassified as only being 13 people.
Several of the nurses reported that all of these patients spoke serbian. They were carrying counterfeit passports, and were reported to the Police.

121 citizens were diagnosed with Stockholm Syndrome.
These patients were all given prescriptions for a medicinal treatment of Sovereignty™-pills and an exercise program of Drinking and Celebrating.

1 citizen* was diagnosed with Insomnia and Alcoholism.
The citizen was recommended to sleep for two months, and to stop yelling at the nurses to say his name during the sponge bath.


Medical definitions
Epidemic, a widespread occurrence of an infectious disease.
Multiple Personality Disorder, being a jerk!
Stockholm Syndrome, feelings of trust or affection felt with ones captors.
Insomnia, habitual sleeplessness; inability to sleep.
Alcoholism, being danish.




P.S. * for the admins
I have to include this part, so that if when this article gets reported by the eSerb multi-account pTO'ers, the admins can see that I'm only referring to myself in regard to alcoholism. Lame.

Best regards,
HoeMarx, signing off.