A New Manifesto for a New Ireland.
Day 1,150, 12:54
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Published in Ireland 
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by
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by Dubhthaigh
Puts on his Tony Blair voice
Domestic Policy.
- All politicians must begin their articles with meaningless and emphatic-sounding titles.
- A car for every table, a job for every chicken, a man for every garage.
- Declare the Channel Tunnel a no - fly zone.
- Dubhthaigh must be made dictator for life.
- Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches to prevent them distracting the rest of the class.
- Constitutional amendment shall incur the death penalty.
Economic Policy.
- Canon should be shot. Dell shall be pelted with dill. There should be 5 Pentiums. Why aren't Windows crystal clear?
- All new homes should be built with a swimming pool and bouncy castle as standard.
To lower the house prices and help young people we will erase the last ‘0’ from the price.
- All socks to be sold in packs of 3 as a precaution against losing one.
- All companies shall be made state property when their owners die.
- All company owners must die.
Foreign Policy.
- The European Constitution will be sorted out by going for a long Walk. "As everyone knows that walking is good for the constitution."
- All potential allies must first pass the Irishness test, in which they must correctly pronounce one Irish female name.
- To combat global warming and climate change all buildings should be fitted with air conditioning units on the outside.
- No war without first conducting the appropriate sacrifices.
- No policies may be stolen from the Monster Raving Loony party website.
- Being foreign shall incur the death penalty.
I apologise for feeling the necessity to fill the empty media space.
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Comments
"- No policies may be stolen from the Monster Raving Loony party website."
As soon as I saw "All socks to be sold in packs of 3 as a precaution against losing one."
I twigged.
(-:
- All socks to be sold in packs of 3 as a precaution against losing one.
Its about time someone did this.
When in doubt, I like to just do the opposite of the real life John Gormley.
😃
all new people to Eire must be able to drink 50 pints in 10mins,
All new citizens must be able to cut 100 sods of turf in 5 minutes.
Blindfolded
With one arm
Using a worn down toothbrush
Upside down
While drunk
And singing the fields of Athenry
In Irish
Backwards.
^Class
😁 agreed 2 million times with Dan
lololol..🙂
Dub, you should've spared us from pic of that cunt! lol
Cheers!
...and when johnmcf has finished with the welcoming ceremony, we'll start the endurance tests.
- Dubhthaigh must be made dictator for life.
I think I see where this is going...
^ I guess it sucks to be the outgoing administration, Kolshire.
Perhaps you should consider signing up for the Feltcher Memorial home?
Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere,
And build them a home - a little place of their own.
The fletcher memorial,
Home for incurable tyrants and kings.
And they can appear to themselves every day,
on closed circuit t.v.
To make sure they're still real -
It's the only connection they feel!
Endurance test, eh? That was a small part of the qualifications to change from a west Mayo man to a wesht Mayo man. Maybe, if you could throw in the Kerry tesht, then we could have the mightiesht army of culchies the world (or north cork) has ever laid eyes on....
All people from Cork, Including JohnG must wear langers on their head! To show who they really are.