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Two Irish builders
(Patrick and Seamus) are seated either side of a table

in a pub
when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a
stool

at the bar.


The two builders start to speculate about the
occupation of the suit.

Patrick: - I reckon he's an accountant.

Seamus: -
No way - he's a stockbroker.

Pat: - He ain't no
stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!


The argument repeats itself for some time until the
volume of beer
gets the better of Patrick and he makes
for the toilet.

On entering the toilet he sees that
the suit is standing at a urinal.

Curiosity and the
several beers get the better of him.


Patrick: - 'Scuse me.... No offence meant,
but me and me mate were
wondering what you do for a
living?

Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical
Scientist by profession

Patrick: - Oh? What's that
then?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example .....
Do you have a goldfish at home?

Patrick: - Er ...
Mmm ....... Well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: -
Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a

pond. Which is it?

Patrick: - It's in a pond!


Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you
have a large garden then?

Patrick: - As it happens,
yes I have got a big garden.

Suit: - Well then it's
logical to assume that, in this town, if you
have a
large garden then you have a large house?

Patrick: -
As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ......... Built
it myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a
five bedroom house it's logical
to assume that you
haven't built it just for yourself and that you are

quite probably married? And with a family?


Patrick: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and
four children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to
assume that you are sexually active
with your wife on a
regular basis?

Patrick: - Yep! Five times a week!


Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you
don't masturbate very often?

Patrick: - Do what? Not
me, mate!

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical
science at work!

Patrick: - How's that then?


Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a
goldfish, I've told you
about your sex life!


Patrick: - I see! That's pretty impressive.. Thanks
mate!

Both leave the toilet and Patrick returns to
his mate.

Seamus: - I see the suit was in there. Did
you ask him what he does?

Patrick: - Yep! He's a
logical scientist!

Seamus: - What's that then?


Patrick: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a
goldfish?

Seamus: - Nope

Patrick: - Well
then, you're a wanker