A Bow Tie is a Wondeful Thing

Day 1,186, 07:53 • Published in USA USA • by Marxus

Warning! This article applies to RL, and Paul Proteus' shortcomings.

In this issue:
"Bow Ties are Cool"
You Can Tie a Bow Tie
Haiku Corner

"Bow Ties are Cool"
~The Doctor

Most of you think you could not possibly pull off a bow tie look unless you are Andre 3000 and have his capability to make anything look fantastic.

Look at that man. You will never be that cool.

But I am here to tell you that you can wear one. If you ever want to look dapper, you can wear one. Yes, you. It is a simple thing to wear that has a lot of personality.

And you can't get a more classic look than with a bow tie.

You Can Tie a Bow Tie

Let me show you a picture.

That is Zach Galifianakis, for those that don't know. Most of you know him from The Hangover. But look how great his look is, all because he is wearing a bow tie that he tied himself. If he can do it and look amazing, you can.

So, tying a bow tie is actually a really simple endeavor. If you can tie your shoe, or a tie, you can tie a bow tie. I am going to show you an instructional picture, then, in my own words, tell you how to do it.


So, you start off with the bow tie hanging over your neck, shirt collar up, with one side longer than the other.
Cross the long end over the short end. Then put the long end up around the short end and pull it back snugly.
Take the short end and pinch it together. (In bow ties that have the bow shape, make the typical bow shape with the pinch)
Take the long side and pull it over the top of the pinch.
Now you take the long end, and are going to push it through the hole behind the pinch (you will feel it) to make the opposite loop.
To tighten, pull on the ends (careful not to untie) and the loops in alternation.

It sounds a whole lot harder than it is, and once you have tied a couple, it will be easy.
Also, if you need further instruction, there are countless youtube videos dedicated to the subject, if you search. (lrn2google)

Haiku Corner
Paul Proteus is the only one that gave any new haikus, so enjoy!

Bowties I know not
for this newspaper has changed
This makes me depressed
~ Paul Proteus in response to recently changing my newspaper from The Bowtie Chronicle

I suck at haikus
It may be a metaphor
Do I suck at life?
~ Paul Proteus

Do you have a haiku you would like to submit? Submit away!


Everyone: Stay sexy.
Guys: Look sexy, too.
Marxus