50 Shades reversed .....and a couple of other good uns

Day 1,949, 13:27 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by mick cain

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward,
then backwards, forward, then backwards again...... back and forth...
back and forth..... in and out.......
She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling
down the small of her back.
She was getting near to the end.
Her heart was pounding..... her face was flushed.....
Then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,


"Okay, Okay!!! I can’t park the car!!! You do it, you smug bastard!!!"


Also look at this,it made me chuckle
http://vimeo.com/61275290


An Emergency Call Centre worker in London has been dismissed from her job, much to the dismay of colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with her treatment.




It seems a male caller dialled 999 from a mobile phone stating, "I am depressed and lying here on a railway track. I am waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet Allah."




Apparently "remain calm and stay on the line" was not considered to be an appropriate or correct response......

And one more that i thought was fantastic.....


An Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.


The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"


The drunk shouts, "Yes, oi am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.

He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, oi haven't found Jesus!"

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer.

He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, me brother?"

The drunk answers, "No, oi haven't found Jesus!"

By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again -- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"


(get ready for this.....)


The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher,


"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"



Yes these are copied and pasted from my email inbox....what's wrong with spreading a little humour?