[DB-PF] The DB-PF Needs a Strong Master
Jizzie McGuire
The DB-PF is a proud party with traditions going back to the Black Lion Front and the Dignity Brigade itself, which has been fighting for a free eSA since the end of the 1st Liberation War in 2009. Despite its currently small numbers it can rightly claim to have some of eSA's most powerful and distinguished citizens like Gregor "Luscious" Lucius, Locutus and Luc Praetor. Considering the DB-PF's proud history, its noble mission, and respected membership, I ask you, does it deserve to have either of those two idiots running for PP as its Party President? My answer is, and yours should be, a resounding NO!
So who should be the next DB-PF PP? Should it be a co-founder of the BLF and the DB? That's probably a good idea. Should it be someone who has never advocated compromise or collaboration with Brazil? Well, yeah if the DB-PF wants to stay true to its goals and ideals. Should it be someone who garners respect, has the charisma that brings activity and new players, and who doesn't flip flop or molest small animals? I would say so if the party wants to be treated with dignity as the name implies. Should it be the guy who offended old BLFers and DB-PF members alike by erroneously changing the IA's name to "Black Lion Front" or a damn, dirty ape? Hells no!
Let's look at our options then. We have Rico Suave, who did indeed co-found the DB, but what was he doing when the BLF came to be? I'll tell you what he was doing. He was coming to eSA with a cadre of Swedish communist herring-chokers to PTO eSA, that's what. Sure, he was quickly won over to our side, thanks in large part to the charms and sweet talk of yours truly, and he has been a solid citizen ever since, but did he not go easy on Brazil during his terms as president? And how many innocent frogs and goats has he sexually violated in eSA? His twisted morality alone should disqualify him. Plus he's a friggin' monkey.
Then there's that creepy weirdo Claudio Kilgannon. This guy flip-flops on the Brazil question more than a fish out of water. Does he want to fight or make a deal? Well it depends on whose rear end he needs to kiss. During his administration, he couldn't get enough hot Brazilian love, but when Leon was in office, he was a bigger war hawk than Locutus. So what is it, you bloody discharge of oozing santorum? Where is the integrity, much less the dignity? And who will you let us get reamed by next? Those Indo Japs?
So where does that leave us? Well it leaves us with the only REAL option: Jizzie, AKA The Jizzer AKA Jizzle McGuizzle AKA Jizz, McGuire. I'm the only remaining BLF co-founder, I'm a co-founder and driving force behind the DB, and the only president of the three that actually fought BOTH Brazil and Indo. I can bring in new members with just a smile and as PP, I can show eSA that my commitment and ability would make me a brilliant CP, which would bring the DB-PF back to its rightful place in the sun. Plus I'm way more handsome than those two meatheads and am a man of the people unlike that stoopid monkey and that 1%er piece of sh*t.
So the decision is yours DB-PF members and those who will now join because you just realized that we are really that awesome. Do you want a frog-lover, a fighter or a sycophantic flip-flopper? No offense to Rico or Claudio, BTW.
Comments
Well put.
Was it dictated or did your geriatric fingers actually type this?
Brb, editing my article.
My geriatric fingers and drug-addled brain put this together in less than half an hour. Did you have a room full of your monkey friends bang out those few sentences of drivel that passes for a campaign article?
Of course you are editing it. You actually have an opponent now.
No offense.
Bastards! I need to re-edit mine!
Give it up, Claudio. Save yourself the trouble and concede now. Leave this one for the big boys. The war is over for the likes of you.
That's it I am running as PP!
Ah yes, the king of lost causes (in Supremacy of course). You'll just make it easier for me. Just don't come crying to me when the only vote you get is your own.
He's just going to Zerg-rush all his articles at once and fail before the race even gets close.
Exactly what I was thinking. You and SNAFU will have a tight race for last place, no doubt.
I think I'll run too
There is no worst case Ontario for this election. Is it possible to vote for all of you?
You'll only want to vote for me when this campaign is over. The other 2 are so out of touch with the ongoings of the country that they are always needing me to answer their questions on the forums and stuff. I'm also constantly needing to walk them through every new thing that comes into the game. I don't mean to speak poorly of them, but they just aren't that smart...
You think your "knowledge" of eR is going to help you? Fat chance. People vote for candidates they like, not for smug, self-righteous dickheads (except for Leon). If I get elected and don't know something I will ask you and you will answer me. I'll get the job done even if I don't know what I'm doing. That's all that matters. At least I am above name-calling. People don't like a dirty campaign.
As I said, "I don't mean to speak poorly of them."
And yet you do speak poorly of us. It's a Catch-23 situation.
The Green Bastard!....from parts unknown!
Laying the smack down on the monkey and the bloody whatever the hell he is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4
I'm in your pants and in your head.
BLF!
4 Life.
V!
I want to make it known that there were a lot of Russians in the PTO group I arrived with. I mostly tagged along due to my involment in the Swedish Worker's Militia. I never fought though, that was too expensive for a baby back in beta. There, I think that argument is defused. Also, the frogs and various farm animals were all consenting adults.
Hey everybody! Rico just admitted that he was a communist! Is that really the kind of person we want as a PP? I'll bet you are some kind of sleeper/Manchurian candidate.
[removed]
You're right! We should all just vote for the guy who has no idea what's been going on in this game for the past two years.
Didn't you support my aborted campaign for CP? Are you a fool now or were you a fool then?
Where's your proof of my support? The evidence has to be admissible mind you. You can't just run off to a classified forum and get it.
Ummm... you know you did.
Popcorn on me everybody!!
I'm sorry Jizzie, but your own article proves you are an indo jap. You clearly appear in the third image in a typical indo internal affairs pose. I bet you even are a communist, as your attempts to call all other candidates communists are a clear indication of an inner insecurity in your political identity. Therefore, I decree you insufficiently able to rule and banish you to the depths of the second place.
Ssshhh!!! Don't tell anyone!
o/
Your multis just voted for you, but you already knew that of course.
Like I have the time to create multis.