20 EASY WAYS TO IMPROVE eREPUBLIK

Day 1,674, 16:47 • Published in USA USA • by Chutley
20 EASY WAYS TO IMPROVE eREPUBLIK




1. Allow the purchasing of daily forfeit points for a large sum

Don’t like what someone has to say? Well spend some cash and shut him the hell up for a little.


2. Never ban Ajay’s/Pizza the Hutt(I/II)'s/Cartman Lee's IP address

Just let him continue to make new profiles and then ban each of them after two days.


3. Give this paper 10,000 subs

I need the gold to give people forfeit points.


4. Offer private islands for 300 gold

Is your country getting wiped? Move to your own island with resources galore until the storm passes. You can even decorate it and invite people over for the weekend. Sounds nice right?


5. Speaking of getting wiped, add random natural disasters

Just when you think eSerbia’s getting too powerful…BAM…eTornado. Too many dead citizens? No problem, WHOOSH, a flood just wiped away all the bodies.


6. Make countries have historically-relevant catastrophes

Don’t look now, eIreland, but you just lost all your potato resources!
eItaly: run! Vesuvius just blew up again!
eUS: the housing bubble just burst. Now go invade the Middle East!

And so on.


7. Charge people for multis

If you care enough about eRepublik to cheat by having multis, you’re kind of a worthless person, so why not make you worth less? Yeah you might win an extra Congress seat or two, but good luck buying dinner.


8. 100 Gold to be “Romper for a Day”

Are you a little puss who only hits for 20k damage per day? Well save up that gold and be Romper for a day and absolutely smash everyone in sight.


9. Trophies for never spending real money on eRepublik

I just want some credit for having my head screwed on straight.


10. More Elections

Not more frequently, but giving people the ability to run for different offices. Secretary of Media, for instance. Let’s face it, the same people would probably attain the position, but at least they’d have to fight for it. And really, aren’t campaign articles about as interesting as it gets around here? Yes, they are, so let's make these people work for it.


11. Voting on comments

I’d like for comments of substance to appear at the top of my feed. Sometimes I miss good contributions in favor of the same chain shout 30 times in a row. In fact, just make a different feed for chain shouts damnit.


12. Challenges to the death (of the avatar)

Give people the ability to challenge one another on the battlefield. Loser has to change his/her avatar to whatever the winner chooses.


13. Create A Swear Jar

Don’t give forfeit points for cursing – make it a fee.

This acts as a deterrent and allows all of us profane fckrs to actually fcking curse because I goddmn well know it that it would be way fcking worth it to me to be able to motherfcking curse in these bllsht articles.


14. Give trophies for numbers of votes in an article

Tally to, I don’t know, 1,000 votes and get a trophy. No scratch that, people are purchasing those.


15. Keep my last comment at the top of my feed

I posted it because I like it. Now let me see it.


16. Allow lawsuits

Haven't really hashed this one out yet, but it seems promising. Perhaps punishment is a serious article of contrition as voted on by your peers? Or how about hours of community service wiping up the dead people from our friend's lists.


17. Instead of an empty gun slot, put a picture of the back of a hand

No weapon? No problem. BITCH SLAP!


18. How about a damn map that I can understand?


19. Allow crimes

If this is supposed to mirror real society, let's add some real criminal behavior. And I'm not talking about just stealing from the corporate coffers. I'm talking straight up malicious shtuff. Piss someone off and you just might find your page vandalized with graffiti all over the damn place. Chutley wuz here bitch.


20. When someone amasses multiple forfeit points, don’t ban, just make this song play over and over until they log out voluntarily.

They will.



There you have it. A better eWorld for all.

Improvingly,
Chutley




P.S. - I will vandalize anyone who doesn't shout this article