[IA] Choose Jizzie in Gauteng and Make Congress a Little More Sexy
Jizzie McGuire
If you vote me into Congress, you won’t have to worry about me leading us into battle against Brazil or creating alliances with countries you may or may not despise, but you can count on making the Congress just a wee bit more sexy (especially if you elect the uber hot Nickerball as well). You’ll probably hate that I don’t always follow the party line (the IA is not the BLF, but it’s almost as good) and on occasion I’ll completely ignore Congressional procedures, but I will listen to what the common folk say because I am and always have been out here doing my thing for the people. I’ll probably get scolded by the president, members of the cabinet, my party and Congressional leaders for doing whatever I want, but you can rest assured that I will do what I do for the good of eSA – at least that will be my intention. They say that good intentions pave the way to hell, but as a great man once said, hell ain’t a bad place to be.
So vote for me… or not. Life will go on and my sexiness will not be diminished. If you vote IA, you have two excellent alternatives in Gauteng, my long-time friend Squall90 and that laid-back, old skool homie Mr. Wet, so either way, it’s all good. Like you, I just want what’s best for eSA, so if you vote for me or one of those dudes, eSA will be well cared for. I’ve been your president twice and congressman on five occasions, so by now most eSouth Africans know what they’ll get with the googly-eyed bastard – pure sexy on a plate.
Stay sexy, eSouth Africa.
Comments
Jizz for president! More sexy time for the people!
good luck Jizzie !!
Voted! (And have fun with that new shout box)
Glad to see you running
Vote for Jizz and he might find the heart to give u some lead for ur pencil!!!
Mark you a Legend bro....Foook, where did i go wrong?
No offense to other eSA legends! I couldn't list all of them and I didn't want to make this article about them anyway. It's all about me! There were plenty of others who brought us out of the mess that happened after I left office, but I couldn't name them all.
Lol No offense Taken JizzMeister, was just knocking on Marks door 🙂
I hear ya, Grimsey. I just like kissing Ines' hot ass and I too like "knocking" on Mark's sweet back door.
I don't even know what any of that means.
lol wtf? who said anything about back doors?
Hey! I've heard of you! Aren't you that guy who was gang raped by Indo security forces in Northern Cape a couple of years back?
That could explain my obsession with back doors. Thanks for dredging up that bit of trauma, monkeyboy! I had that pretty much blotted out of my memory until you were kind enough to remind me of it.
And people wonder why I was so intent on going to war against Indo. It was personal! Funny how I'm now 'friends' with the main rapist, Pharaoh Revival. Isn't that called Stockholm Syndrome or something?
You're welcome McGuire!
How will you make eSouth Africa a more simian-accessible country?
A good answer will earn you my vote. A bad one will too..
I will vote for you even if you don't answer the question.
keep congress sexy! (or sexier than it currently is)
sexy jizzie
Looks like I've got the sexy vote wrapped up. Selina is pretty damn sexy herself.
As for apes and monkeys like Rico and Fhaemita, how about a free goat for all simians?
Save the goats!
Goats were the preference of late great Brendan E Austerion.
Toss in a few frogs and I'm all yours!
Hey, Jizz!
Will you host the election victory party in that old shed behind Ricos house, and will there be paint thinner?
BTW, I checked in on the old BLF forums the other day, you´re still an admin, just sayin´.
Go the Jizzmeister
Your article was very long.
However, It was worth reading.
I'll vote for you instead of me.
@Locutus, I could not resist and popped in to the BLF forums myself. There is a ton of quality history in there. Should give the Director of Wiki access.
Does anyone have the link to the S.A.I.L forums as I know there is a lot of history there that I would love to get my hands on. Google comes up blank
I'll have to condense it next time, Wet. This article is pretty short compared to the long-winded, walls of text I've written in the past. I just can't help being a pompous blowhard sometimes. I'll probably vote for Squall or Mark, so I'm glad someone will be voting for me. Good luck to you, Mr. Wet. It's a prizziviledge to run against you.
I used to have the SAIL forum in my favorites, but I deleted it a while back. I bet Ryan Dagari would have it, but I'd have to find him and raise him from the dead.
@Loco - I will always be an admin on the BLF forum! I'm the only founder left, so who else is there to keep the hope alive? Someday you may see it again, but until then it will haunt your dreams. I think the old shed is still standing in the Northern Cape, so we could probably sneak over there for the after-election party. Since Siroe has left us, I don't know if there will be any paint thinner, but since Rico is sure to be there, colitma will be flowing in abundance!
Votado. El Jizzador por congreso.
lol always fun to read, voted
i'd read it, but i couldn't take my eyes off ur picture. dayum!
Baglamas you may look at him, but I get to sit on his lap.
Voted and a long time ago a subscriber. Go get those goats and frogs and whatever they want to vote you in. Once a great spirit, always a great spirit
IA for the Future!!!
My picture is mesmerizing, is it not? I am looking forward into the future. Now get over here and sit on Grandpa Jizz's lap, Nickers.
Oh yeah, I forgot to say this before - Dignity First!
Jizz on me!
Jizzmaster Flex
The Wet Wet
M Squared
Squalizze Nizzle
That's a sick lineup.
Solid. I foresee a major pizzopulation explizzosion in the Gizzy on election day, if only for the after-election party at my shed. Party time at 4:20 with blunts, 40s, gin & juice, and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog on the mic. Nomesayin?
Wot wot! A'ight.
Word.
This is gonna be one f'ed up congress if we all get in.