Invade the UK? Jewitt for President, and More News
Jewitt
Russians Hack | Balkan Bulletin | Headline Story | Keeping Them Honest | To do List
30 November, 2009, Day 741 of the New World - A battle in the Balkans over the weekend has spurred a new section for the next few weeks, as well as some hackers, a new addition to the ranks of EDEN, and Jewitt's not-so-surprising announcement about December 5th. Oh, and awesome formatting a few journalists like to steal. That and more in today's issue of The Report!
Russians Hack
According to news reports, a few Russians have abused system exploits over the weekend. This comes nearly a month after Russian citizens allegedly hacked into United States citizen accounts. On the list of the accused was an unknown to the American public, keks-n, a military tactician. Within hours, self proclaimed "Emperor of Russia" parter was also found with abnormal wellness.
His wellness is just 60 digits away from a number my parents insist I represent.
All of the known hackers have been rightly banned permanently. Some Russian citizens have started an Open Letter claiming that there is nothing wrong with purposely manipulating the game because the Terms and Conditions do not specifically prohibit the manipulation that was used. As Apnea noted, "It really shows how different our cultures are. To those in the West we think in the 'spirit' of the law, while in the East they think of the 'word' of the law. If the law says 'do not murder,' those in Belarus would think that all instances are illegal. While in Canada if you killed a man in self defense of you and your family, we may make a precedent for an exception."
Regardless, these bans should not be overturned and the Russian citizenry signing the petition will cry "adminfail." Readers are encouraged to participate in the eUS Forum thread on this subject.
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Now ain't that awesome? New section!
It seems like every other day there's a battle in the Balkans where Hungary, Serbia, and a random puppet state attacks a Croatian region. Both sides scream "THIS IS IT!" and generally a lot of money is spent. So, we have decided to dedicate an entire section of The Report on this ongoing crisis.
Late last week, with much of the United States preoccupied with Thanksgiving festivities, some interesting things were happening around the globe. Indonesia was pushing into Malaysia, Argentina and Brazil doing a wipe of the PTO'ed Peruvian nation, and the United Kingdom randomly attacking the United States. All were very odd looking, especially with Russia launching attacks into Scandinavia. Then late Friday night, a two-pronged attack by Serbian and Hungarian forces occurred into Croatia right before turnover. Within an hour, just ten minutes before the server turnover, the region of Slavonia was in the underground for the first time in eRepublik history. It looked grim, but the Allied Forces and EDEN, with the United States now a member, took charge the next day.
Croatian forces celebrating victory on a defeated Serbian tank.
Tanks rolled, paratroopers dropped, fighters shot tracers across the sky and terrain, and ultimately the smoke cleared with a Croatian flag proudly waving at the end of the battle - battle torn and scarred with ashes. The conflict in Croatia is being mirrored across the Balkans as Slovakia launched an assault on Hungarian-controlled Bratislava on Saturday. Slovakia seems to be reclaiming its occupied lands while Hungarians recover from over-fighting in the Croatian battles.
Regardless, the Balkans will be the site of some interesting news in the coming weeks.
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Jewitt on Dec. 5th
With last month's breakthrough platform, many expected no less to come from The Report with respect to Jewitt's run for the Presidency in December. Unfortunately, we just do not have that. It is not due to lack of time, nor is it due to lack of interest of motivation. What it is, is that Jewitt is making a one time promise. Jewitt will continue to work towards what he outlined in his previous platform, with one amendment: Within three days of taking office he will press the button to attack the United Kingdom if elected.
When asked about this turnaround from a more neutral and diplomatic policy, Jewitt said, "Honestly, I want Battle Hero of London." Surprising to few, he continued, "that and last I heard they had some awesome literature. The world always says the United States is full of arrogant idiots, why not add some good poetry and plays to the collection of American works?"
Do note, this is completely for fun. Do you honestly think Jewitt is an idiot to tell the enemy when he'll attack? Let alone let the enemy know he's attacking xD
Several random folks headed to the bar after Jewitt's speech on Sunday afternoon
Some find this controversial, others say "it's about damn time!", as vSkyzv, the founder of the I STAND READY TO KILL REDCOATS movement, so abruptly phrased it.
Add to this the previous 10,000 Fists Campaign and diplomatic goals, it is still a promising run despite the low publicity this month around. Rumors already exist that this is just a glimpse of what could be expected in January.
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» A new Speaker of the House has been elected by the 24th Congress, Serendipitous (AAP - AL). He won after his opponent, Jude Connors (HIPP - IE), conceded from their neck-and-neck race.
» A Mutual Protection Pact has been proposed and passed from Paraguay, a former PEACE G.C. nation and upstanding social ally of Spain.
» The United States has officially decided to join the eRepublik Defense and Economic Network organization, better known as EDEN.
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_______________________________________
» Check out The Report on Air - showing now every Tuesday at 10:00 PM Eastern Standard Time, 9:00 PM Central (19:00 eRepublik Time). Topics addressed are the world's current events as well as any questions or commentary from call-in viewers. To call-in when live, just follow the link. Also, every Thursday is Open Mic Night at the same time to answer any questions and talk about anything.
» The Coast Guard is going through a major restructuring process, working on instructional material and other items for new recruits. If you are interested in being a commanding officer and mentor to the new recruits, join the forums and state your intent. We are looking for some interested individuals that are motivated to help teach newer players.
» Here's your Moment of Zen.
Written and Edited By,
-Jewitt, Chief Editor
-WahooBob, Multimedia Manager
-Michael Hunt, Senior Correspondent
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Comments
First DENIED
\o/
Lets invide UK. That ll be easy 😁
\o/
http://www.erepublik.com/en/newspaper/s-mart-magazine-208995/1" target="_blank">http://www.erepublik.com/en/newspaper/s-[..]995/1
INVADE UK MAXXX
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/FRTW" target="_blank">www.blogtalkradio.com/FRTW
voted
ty USA
😉
vote!
ok
Good luck jewitt 😉
V
Jewitt wins. voted
I stand ready to kill redcoats.
Like i said in Novemeber.. Jewitt for President!
Jewittammax!
This is the best election promise ever.
Jewitt can do it!
I STAND READY TO KILL REDCOATS
That picture made me laugh.
JEWITT! \o/
Invading the UK would be satisfying, but against everything I'm proud of in the USA.
invade them \o/
FUCK YEAH!!!!
JEWITTMAXXXX!!!!
You've got my vote!
A vote for Jewitt is a vote for a better UK.
Good luck jewitt. if you can conquer the whole of UK - that would be a good national monument! lol.
invade ukmaxxx?
I am voitng for jewitt because of uk invasion.
JEWITTMAXXXXX
Apparently Jewitt stands ready to kill redcoats.
Good luck Jewitt! You have my vote already 🙂
JEWITT CAN DO IT!
KILL UK NOW
\O/
Need supplies to invade the UK? then head over to this link http://www.erepublik.com/en/newspaper/s-[..]995/1" target="_blank">http://www.erepublik.com/en/newspaper/s-[..]995/1
I stand ready to kill redcoats. Jewitt can do it!
Got my vote. Honestly any candidate that doesn't have it on their monument list should be removed from the ballot.
I love the thought of killing redcoats and have advocated for a national goal to erase the eUK. But....
3 days? I guess no planning will go into this attack? I'm disappointed, Jewitt. This is clearly political theatre and not a responsible platform.
Jewitt has won the election!
JEWITT!!!! \o/
Bring it UK!!!
Invade,eUK,enslave the population, steal their resources, that should be the top goal.
Crush the brits
Jewitt for President...of Israel. Done?
While I'm very impressed by your apparent endorsement by the Village People, I have to disagree with invading the UK.
Right now, the eUK is insignificant, weak, irrelevant-- a world-wide joke. I say, them rot on their pathetic island.
By invading them, we make them relevant. We give them military experience, and a possible baby boom if the invasion is successful.
But if we do invade and win, we should leave them confined to Wales. Taking them over completely would close the open MPP's against them. While I think eUK is beneath the honor of an eUS invasion, if it does happen, I could be satisfied with an eUK reduced to Wales, or some other insignificant and unpleasant region.
And give northern ireland to it's rightful owners ireland o/
I stand ready to vote for my favorite jew.
Jewitt can do it.
"I love the thought of killing redcoats and have advocated for a national goal to erase the eUK. But....
3 days? I guess no planning will go into this attack? I'm disappointed, Jewitt. This is clearly political theatre and not a responsible platform."
This.
Looking forward to a UK babyboom.
Most irresponsible thing I've seen in my short e-life.
Ahem, little scribbling above the picture. Copy/paste into a Word doc to read it :3
I will hold you to it 😕
Im all for invading those traders in the UK. Im surprised its taken this long to kick the crap out of them.
Woot, War!
Oh lulz! Read that damn small print above the hippy picture!
Darn you Jewitt, you got us!
Love the fine print:
"😉o note, this is completely for fun. Do you honestly think Jewitt is an idiot to tell the enemy when he'll attack? Let alone let the enemy know he's attacking xD"
lolololololol
Oh, where to start?
I like, I don't like, I like comments, I don't like..
I like the Y-M-C-A look...I don't like dead squirrels.
I like last minute tanks in Croatia, I don't like Wales being derided 😉
But hey, float-on baby..at least your e-brain is active 😉