100 Bitter Things

Day 1,105, 21:39 • Published in Canada Canada • by Lemon Party Canada


"I don't care. I'll form my own group. Rejection from society is what created the X-Men."
--Liz Lemon on 30 Rock



The Lemon Party is pleased to present you with a compilation of 100 bitter things that have shown eCanada to be a sour nation. We would like to thank our contributors for sharing what has left a bad taste in their mouth over these many months: Gherk, Dominik, Plugson, Captain Kushskins, saltydog, EliteChaos112 (rest his recently permabanned soul/souls), and others who would probably prefer not be mentioned.

& o7 those who have inspired the acerbic potential of eCanada.



Bitter About Finance

1. 13 Businesses, 5 Orgs, 1075 Gold, and 63,000 CAD to Rolo Tahmasee
2. 35,000 CAD to The Evil One
3. 50,000 CAD for the Ministry of Finance
4. 2600 Gold kept warm by nea milosu
5. An overly-charitable, free TemujinBC
6. 666 CAD for PimpDollaz
(and a partridge in a pear tree)


Bitter About Nostalgia

7. People abuse the name of the dead to advance their own interests, and our martyrs are self-crucified.
8. Knowing that eventually the players you respect will either be smeared or proven
9. “England Prevails!”
10. Penguin Comics now have too many words in them.
11. Most of the drama is navel-gazing, an attempt to gain attention for oneself without actually advancing a political ideal. AB was the last person to do something constructive out of destructive behaviour.
12. That sensible female players like Dycey, K Mahoney, and Stelawrat tend to get fed up and pull back.
13. Anti-intellectualism is spreading across eCanada
14. Our heroes always let us down in the end. 1ronman makes people cry, Plugson plagiarizes from deviantart, and saltydog's not really Korean.
15. People who obsess over the past, especially prominent eCanadian citizens that have left us long ago.
16. Washed-up players that keep quitting but come back every time, taking away a little more from their former glory.
17. Adam Sutler died before I could have his babies.
18. A lack of Kelly Mahoney
19. the people who try to sound popular by namedropping others


Bitter About Politics

20. The DAL abandoning its principles
21. eCanada's way of governing is anything BUT transparent.
22. Censorship
23. There's a liberal fascist oligarchy bringing us all down.
24. People jump between moral absolutism and moral relativism on impulsive whims, depending on which is more beneficial to them in the situation.
25. I don't know who screws us over more, admin or the government.
26. Charity organizations for the sake of gaining voters
27. Spencer Magee is back in congress
28. Nobody has a damn conscience unless it will earn them votes.
29. Inactive congress members getting voted back in; active ones getting left out
30. The ‘forever or never’ process of passing new bills and amendments like the new player welcoming message
31. Lack of features in the game. Needs varying political systems mainly.
32. There is hardly any moving up in that country. If you join late like I did, just about a month ago, then you really have no chance of becoming a congressman or CP unless you become friends with powerful people and/or are associated with parties like the DAL.
33. The hardcore partisans who can't see past their own party affiliation
34. The fakes, snakes, wieners and whiners


Bitter About Manners

35. Anonymous attack ads
36. Over-used film motifs
37. A noob nation
38. Everyone is out for their own specific goals and don't really care about eCanada and her place in the world
39. People who play practical jokes.
40. People with no sense of humour.
41. You're all a bunch of jerks.
42. Difficulty trusting people with shared ownership of an organization
43. Watching people proclaim that "it's the community that keeps me coming back"
44. Not enough value is placed on earnest contributions to the community; more attention is paid to misdeeds than good ones, and we crap on peoples hard work.
45. This place is more of a schoolyard cat-fight simulation than a political economy simulation. We can't do things without resorting to mud-slinging and pettiness.
46. Watching people ragequit, then try to reframe it as if they were "only taking a break"
47. The bastardization of the term "roleplay" (as if we're not all roleplaying, you dummies)


Bitter About Conformity?

48. Bitter loves company
49. ~lemu~
50. People not listening to the people that matter like saltydog.
51. Winter in Canada
52. A diet high in sodium.
53. Rambling lists without any apparent order or coherence.
54. Team Beta Keys
55. Bitterness trumps saltiness
56. We act like a bunch of personality disordered teenagers.
57. Inflation
58. Long Sabre Rattling without wearing proper protection
59. People are dishonest and ruthless towards each other.
60. The overuse and misuse of "it's just a game" to justify failures, mistakes and wrongdoing
61. People who spend hours plotting to achieve in the game, then claim "I don't really care" when things don't go their way
62. The triumph of friends and connections over good ideas the sensitive people who back down from finding the truth because it might cause conflict
63. the snakes who take advantage of the people who avoid conflict in order to obscure the truth
64. all the SHEEP


Bitter About Rankings

65. The influx of teabaggers into Canada
66. Censorship
67. Losing our highest ranked player to another country
68. Not getting rid of our highest ranked player sooner
69. The population only increases if people do make multiple accounts, since eCanada has one of the lowest rates of fertile eMarriages


Bitter About Media

70. A severe decline in bikini jpegs for articles
71. Single picture articles
72. Nosyt outright cursing at admins in a comment : 0
73. ‘fer the lulz’ is so commonplace that people are losing their patience with ‘funny’
74. Censorship
75. Why am I even reading this? : (
76. Articles with great ideas but not short enough to get votes or comments
77. One picture articles in the Top 5
78. Lack of an intelligent media.
79. The media rant on and on about how bad the admins are, which may be true but I could care less, it is just a GAME!
80. We don’t laugh at things together anymore; people always think humour is at someone’s expense.
81. A lack of knowing who the enemy is now that they no longer publish articles here
82. A lack of feeling connected to EDEN now that they no longer publish articles here at all
83. Watching people who can't even spell correctly form "journalistic excellence" groups
84. Watching those journalism groups act as cliques of friends instead of anything of substance


Bitter About Clarity

85. There is very little enforcement of removing multis
86. No ‘Official Record of Blacklisted Players’
87. Lack of centralised information.
88. TCOvsCAFvsLSRvsProjectMayhemvsCOGvsCOBRAvseCanada
89. Recent concern about the efficiency of the CAF


Bitter About Externality

90. Distrust in the security of the eCanada Forums for private messages
91. Where did all my forum CAD go!?!
92. IRC banning and those who complain about it
93. Admins (both eRep and forum) simply don't give a sh*t.
94. The fact that this game really is for people short on interpersonal attention in real life


Bitter About The Game

95. The limitations of a Top-5 party voting system.
96. Censorship
97. Dead buddies on your friends list
98. Food prices are too high
99. Lack of a "GTFO" feature for party presidents to manage membership
100. The lack of any real forward development in this game



“Cooking is a contrast of tastes. It’s all about a balance of the salty with the sweet, the savoury with the spicy, the bland with the bitter.” – Chef Plugson

With that in mind....3 things that would make eCanada a shweet place to be:

1) Moar war; less Phoenix!
2) Moar economy; less taxes.
3) Moar water under the bridge; less long-term memory.

There are probably dozens of other things that could make eCanada a ‘sweet’ place. Feel free to add your ‘sweet thangs’ because we already got plenty of the acerbic stuff. Of course, we can’t stop you from commenting with your own list of bitter things. I'll tell you my 5 favourite bitter things, if you show me yours.