[ZW] PIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

Day 755, 14:22 • Published in Pakistan Pakistan • by AgentChieftain



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SOFIA, Bulgaria - Good evening, comrades. There's a fairly large problem befalling our northeastern neighbors: a stampede of Americans are attacking China to tie the knot between the fake Chinamen and their original kinsmen, the Americans.

　　　　As I've previously reported, the fake country of China began when President BGBW's hometown of Anhui was attacked by herds led by logomaster304 and pyroelectricity. Though briefly led by our goonish allies, the Juche Box Party, China has been suffering from varying degrees of corruption and moray decay as they've slowly become arrogant in their selfish quest for legitimacy since the departure of the Goons. Genuinely Chinese citizens have begun to reclaim their land from its American occupants, but this process has been slow and the Americans still hold a sizable presence in China.

　　　　Recently, American president Jewitt has planted seeds of dissent amongst the Chinamen by conditioning them to believe that all of China is "rightfully theirs," including the resourcefully rich region of Heilongjiang. Even though China was reclaimed by Indonesia after the Romanian invasion of Asia and remained under their de facto rule ever since, Americans have propagated lies and deception and led the Fake Chinese to insinuate that China was taken from them by means of imperialism.

　　　　To those who believe Ondore's lies: allow me to offer you a history lesson. China was conquered by the Holy Empire of Pakistan after Gyro Zeppeli and a band of rogue Pakistani peacefully seized the inactive Chinese government. For an entire year, China remained under Pakistani rule as a cooperative constituent of Dio Brando's league of peace and justice.

　　　　Last December, Romania conquered the previously Norwegian regions of Russia to build an ATLANTIS stronghold in Asia, and later invaded Iran. When this war was declared, atilaa and I traded control of Xinjiang to protect Iran from the pig vampire menace and cancel the war, and we later traded more regions with Indonesia (including Xinjiang once more) so the southeastern superheroes could force Dracula's hordes out of our peaceful lands.

　　　　Over the course of four months, Indonesia battled Romania in World War II's Asian theater. At one point, Romania controlled three-fifths of the Holy Empire of Pakistan, or roughly a third of Asia. However, their resources ran dry, and they were pushed back into Siberia for one final battle, which ultimately resulted in glorious Indonesian victory on May 15th, 2009.

　　　　Several months later, oinking once again befalls the shores of Asia. Arrogant Americans have strong-armed the President of Japan into surrendering the island of Kyushu to America passage onto the Chinese mainland. This will allow the Americans the opportunity to sack the Hungarian trade center of Heilongjiang in the same fashion as the terrorist attack of the World Trade Center in the city of New York.

　　　　What is it that compels Americans to disrupt world peace? After the Indonesian victory against the belligerent Romanian vampires, Asia has remained one of the most peaceful regions of the New World. Once again, America is attacking multiple peaceful nations for the sole purpose of obtaining "lulz." Lulz, mind you, are (sometimes "epic&quot😉 units of entertainment sought by filthy, dumb, newfag scum at the expense of others. This barbaric practice is akin to capitalism in the sense that it exploits honest people for the sake of fattening pigs. This trend began with the first war in the world between the United States and Canada, has continued with failed American offensives on France, Mexico, Portugal, and Russia, farcical independence wars in Israel, China, Corea, and Belgium, and now they're following the Romanians in their mission to capture Asia.

　　　　Warmongering swine aside, I find the current state of affairs in Asia upsetting. We were all previously bound by brotherly love in the alliances of PEACE and Sol. India has grown apart from us since they've regained their independence despite my personal efforts to show them that Pakistan still loves them. After the Goons abandoned China, the fake Chinese have devoted themselves to stealing the former regions of China from their legitimate owners while calling said owners imperialists. Iran has returned our unwanted territories to us for the sake of resistance warmongering, making Pakistan vulnerable to political takeover by pig disgusting opportunists.

　　　　Asia as a whole is in disarray due to current events, and the Americans aren't helping. I can't think of better way for them to solidify their position as the incumbent worst country on Earth. Can you?

EDITOR'S NOTE: This article has been approved by an anonymous community moderator.

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