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It twas a cold day in the land city of Geneva, I had just gotten off of the train I had taken to get to this winter wonderland. It was quite cold, which was something I had not been accustomed to since my days of living in Ukraine, and Russia oh so long ago.

I went to meet my dear friend Monsieur Guillontine whom is the Minister of Foreign Affairs for Switzerland, as well as the party president of the Swiss Socialist Society. He told me of how he intended to run for the presidency of the small nation next month, and we reminisced our old times in Belgium where everyone except Shadowukcs hates us. As we walked down to where my embassy was said to be located, I saw a site I had not seen since the days of the World War III. Disgruntled citizens filled the road showing their support for EDEN, and their agenda of liberating their provinces from the aggressor which had occupied them. He said to ignore them, but I was unsure of how large the EDEN movement was in Switzerland for all I knew it was simply restricted to the common rabble or possibly members of the Cabinet might agree.

When we reached the embassy though Monsieur said I was to speak with President Rican to find out the information I needed to fulfill my duties as ambassador unfortunately for me though he was rushing on his way out of the door screaming he is busy. I was puzzled but I spoke to Monsieur instead and told him my inquiries.

Q. What are the politics in Switzerland like?
A: The parties all work together, cooperation between the parties is necessary and helps instill unity.
Q. How does Switzerland view Austria?
A: Austria is our friend.
Q. What is the general state of affairs in Switzerland?
A:They could be better, we have been subjected to the Slovenes for some time now. We have recently began cooperating with the United States in their invasion of Europe.
Q. What is your cabinet Composition?
A:
President - Rican
Vice President - Srog Norsktag
Minister of Defense - Luka Tomasevic Tomas
Chairman of the Swiss Confederation Bank - F4uc0n
Minister of Economy - Julian Anderson
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Monsieur Guillontine
Vice Minister of Foreign Affairs - Sprne
Minister of Interior - Bowen199
Minister of Immigration - Borgogian

After he answered my few questions I bade him farewell, and began to perform my duties of researching the recent Pary elections.

-The Swiss Socialist Socialist is once again led by Monsieur Guillontine
- Swiss Reform Coalition is once again led by Rican
- The Swiss Freedom Party is led by Nemkec

My main observation of Swiss politics shown me that Monsieur Guillontine and the SSS were rising to prominence, I hoped that my own Socialist movement would be on par with their level of success. Times were not well in Switzerland, but the same could be said of my own country despite our differences we both consider each other to be brothers. After a few hours Monsieur returned to see how I was holding up at my new post, and we began to walk back to the small hostel I was sharing with something I hated encountering once again... Swedes. That's right a family of piglets was sleeping mere meters from me, as we sat down on my futon to have tea and potatoes. As I filled our cups and switched the tv channel to William Walker's world reknowned sitcom Everyone loves Dio, out of the corner of my eye I noticed someone was standing behind my door. Mere seconds after this, the door hit the floor releasing a deafening boom, which sent the swine into a screeching fury of cowardice. They ran for the doorway, knocking over the culprits in the process. Despite them wearing masks I knew I had recognized these men before...

The moment I removed their masks and their piggish snouts were revealed, I knew they were italian. Not just any group of italians though, they were the very same italians who had tried to bomb Lienz well over a year ago! As I shouted angrily Kurwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa at the criminals, Monsieur called the authorities and they hauled the criminals away. He then thanked me for my duty which he said probably saved Switzerland from losing its next dear leader. He then awarded me the honorary title of Count of Vaud. In a moment of what can only be described as bro love, he kissed my cheek as is the Swiss custom or so he said.

Things were going far too well it seemed, low and behold I woke up in my shoddy futon which smelled like wet dog, and one of the Swedish migrants was on top of me slobbering on my face. It turns out it was all just a dream, and I actually overslept and it turned out I didn't do my duties. The phone was ringing which I suspected was probably a pissed off Monsieur trying to find out where I was. In a rage I thrown the pig off of me and went back to sleep as Everyone Loves Dio played in the background.