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^{Voots government officials carrying out their duty in sane normal ways}

Dateline: Sunday, March 21st (Day 4,870)
Location: James S. Brady Press Room, The White House

Today’s WHPR
1. Air Strike Strikes Out
2. Everything You Wanted to Know About Kongress* (But Were Afraid to Ask)
3. Inside Baseball
4. Air Rank Up Call Out

^{Today's WHPR is guest edited by known malcontent Paul Proteus, so direct all complaints to uh Cromstar}


Air Strike Strikes Out
^{Grizzled Experienced Veteran Who Dies in Act II, Gnilraps}

Air Strike Fails to Land

On day 4868, eUSA saw it’s most heated battle in almost a year. All four Divisions went epic in round 1. Division 4 went epic in round 2. Round 4 brought the first Air Epic of the current Weekly Challenge period. eUSA used the recently reintroduced Combat Orders system for what might have been the first time. And most crucially, we picked the strongest nation in the game right now to attack.

There wasn’t ever much hope of victory. Croatia has 67 Ground fighters with the Legend XX rank compared to only 12 in eUSA. In today’s military module, that is enough of a difference to end the discussion. Despite the difference, eUS fighters kept pushing against the odds. To get a sense of how difficult the fight was, consider that American fighters logged 110,510 kills vs. only 94,310 kills made by Croatia, but the difference in damage was 570,405,478,176 vs. 713,293,649,024. Clearly, Croatia is the superior power.

In the air, eUS was able to win both rounds 4 and 8. We were assisted in those rounds by fighters from Apollo, as well as Asteria and Hydra, as well as some notable damage from Canada and the Czech Republik. Our own Super Nova did an astounding 5,065,661 damage in round 4, killing over 8,300 enemies in the process.


^{We here at the WHPR picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue}

We must also make special mention of Easy Company whose ground and air fighters made up the lions share of American damage. Their ground fighters did almost 62% of all damage for eUSA. In the air, Easy Company dealt over 22% of US damage with Broforce Worldwide contributing an impressive win in Round 8. However, representatives of nearly every Military Unit showed up big including War Inc. Bear Cav and US Pentagon. War, Inc. dropped 37.5 Billion damage on the ground, while Bear Cavalry blasted out 35.8 Billion and were particularly good in Divisions 1 and 2.

While the airstrike failed to land, we want to thank both our allies as well as our enemies. It was a great battle at times. Much respect must go out to the Croatian army for its precision coordination. On the other hand, even more respect must be given to our friends around the world who came to help us out.

Our Airstrike was not the only military operation that was conducted at that time. Our strike was part of an operation that helped secure this victory in Muntania and this victory in Maramures. Also providing drains for those two battles was this airstrike from South Africa.

While we did not land in Limpopo, we hope that our display of fighting spirit, our willingness to “take one for the team”, and our impressive performance especially in the air will be noticed around the world. eUSA is not the most powerful nation, but we are a solid force to be reckoned with.




Everything You Wanted to Know About Kongress* (But Were Afraid to Ask)
^{Avid gardener: Paul Proteus}

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Anyway, now that I have your attention, let's talk about a very important topic

It happens every month, it's a fact of life, might as well know what you're getting into: It's Kongress!


^{Congress members in their official regalia, preparing intellectual and respectful debate}

Still, even though we all vote, and elect representatives to this august body where they can post variations of "nou" for hours, there's still a lot to know! Here at the WHPR, we luckily have in our employ several Dinosaurs who have, due to shady backroom dealings and a total lack of moral fibre, served a nearly infinite amount of time in the prison honorable role that is Kongress. So, without further ado, here is:

Everything You Wanted to Know About Kongress* (But Were Afraid to Ask)


Q: What is Congress? Where are we? Why are we here?
A: Congress is part of how the eUS is governed. Every 25th, citizens vote for the political party they want to represent them!

Q: What does a Congress member actually do?
A: They argue! And vote for in game laws, like donations to the CBO so the eUS can be flexible with our spending. But they also vote and discuss laws on the eUS forums, where immigration policy, budgets, and new programs are defined.

Q: I heard you can now vote in-game on proposals from the forum, what's that all about?
A: Yes! As per a recent law, even when Congress creates laws off-site, those votes occur both on the forum and on an in-game thread. This allows Congress members who don't use the forum to still participate in our body politic.

Q: What is a delegate?
A: Good question! In the in-game vote, we elect 40 congress members to represent the country proportionally. These are the only people able to vote on votes that occur in game, such as air strikes or donation laws. But to expand Congress to more people, Congress passed a law allowing each party to send 2 additional delegates to participate in the forum aspect of congress.

Q: Which parties get to participate in Congress?
A: The Top 5 of course! Which means the WTP, Feds, SFP, BSP and either the USWP or 506. For the past several years the USWP has been in the Top 5, but currently the BSP is ahead. What matters is who is ahead on the 24th when the mechanics lock in. The 6th party gets no congressional representatives aside from a delegate to the forum.

Q: We're losing regions I think. Does that mean we have no Congress?
A: Another GREAT question! Some sort of genius coming up with these. The answer is no! Unless we're wiped going into the 25th we will have *some* Congress.


^{This is definitely something I have memorized and not something I google every month...}

And even if we are wiped going into the 25th, Congress will continue on a forum-and-in-game-message-only basis based on previous representation, so that eUS government continues to function.

Q: I'm bored in my own segment, what's the tldr?
A: Vote on the 25th! Also get off my lawn



Inside Baseball
^{Possible accomplice in the Jellystone Picnic Basket thefts of 2021: Logan Beary}

Welcome to a segment called Inside Baseball. The inner workings of government can appear mysterious, or byzantine. Here at the WHPR, we make it our mission to demystify government. So, we had our Senior Correspondent on Beary Important Affairs, Logan Beary, talk you through a day in the life in the Oval Office:


^{The WHPR image team is very good but perhaps did not get the metaphor...}

I was late... Very late... I raced through the security gate and quickly flashed my badge and my winning smile. Security guard Ron waved me in. He was such a nice guy. I quickly parked in the first parking spot I could see. It was my first time reporting for the new administration and everything had gone wrong this morning.

But... no time to dwell on these things. It was time to
get down to business.

Running with coffee is never a good idea. Thankfully I had one of those little stopper thingys from Starbucks so that only the foam threatened to leak out of my latte. As I walked into the Oval Office, trying desperately to pretend I had not just been running through the halls, I noticed that things looked extremely organized. Someone must have done a lot of work in here. Only the faint smell of the chicken coop remained. All chicken feed had
seemingly been consumed and only 1 chicken feather floated slowly from the ceiling. Besides all the plants on the windowsills, things looked remarkably business-y. Where was everyone? We were supposed to be having an important meeting.

It was then that I heard it.... party music. But where was it coming from? Muffled sounds of voices and the faint smell of cigar smoke seemed to come from behind the incredibly large bookcase.

8 minutes...

Pulling different books on the bookcase, I tried to find the secret passage. The secret passage was ALWAYS behind the bookcase. "Animal Farm" seemed very clean compared to all of the other books. It seemed an ironic choice. I was quickly whipped into a secret passageway, which led to a large party room. So... a party in the back... Interesting. President Voots was clearly getting ready to give some sort of speech. I needed to move quickly. I got in just as the lights went down. A spotlight shone on President Voots. The room held its breath in anticipation.


^{WHPR staffers during the puzzle portion of their commute}

"Welcome to the PiB room. It's always a party back here. We only do business in the front. But, today is a slight exception to that rule. I've gathered you together today to declare a national holiday. We've got a surprise for those of you in the media... Stormin, hit the lights!"

Multi-colored spotlights turned on every single cabinet member. Each cabinet member was sporting a super-slick-brand-new-very-sexy haircut...

"I, President Voots, declare that today is National Mullet Day! We have determined that mullets cause an increase in awesomeness, and therefore, we are declaring that all awesome citizens should follow suit and cut their hair in a mullet to celebrate."

I looked at Elaine. She shrugged. I mean, mullets were kinda creepy awesome. I guess I could get on board with this celebration.


Air Rank Up Call Out
^{Owner of the only typewriter in town, Gnilraps}

This Week’s Rank-up Callout

It’s hard to live in eUSA and not be aware that our government wants to help you rank up in Air Combat. (Reminder: Sign Up for GIMP!)

Well, the Vootsman administration would like to recognize and celebrate those citizens who have increased their rank during the previous week.

Congratulations to the following eUS Citizens who ranked up in Air Combat during the past week.


Achieving the rank of Chief Master Sergeant*
A.J. Raffles


Achieving the rank of Chief Master Sergeant***
Xavier3


Achieving the rank of Chief Master Seargeant*****
Trite of the northern Penguins


Achieving the rank of Wing Commander*
TECHNO WARRIOR



Achieving the rank of Wing Commander***
Thee Postman



Achieving the rank of Wing Commander****
Josh Frost
Stormin EwokJedi
Blande


Achieving the rank of Group Captain***
Groot of Cascadia


Achieving the rank of Group Captain****
Venom.


Achieving the rank of Air Commodore**
Kxrt



Remember, the most efficient way to build your citizen’s value on the battlefield is to spend your energy fighting in air combat battles (unless you have a significantly high strength, and if that’s you then you don’t need anyone telling you what to do!).




Your moment of Zen





[WHPR] Lions and Tigers and Airstrikes, Oh My!
https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-whpr--2732385

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