'Twas the night before the forum was fixed,

Day 760, 03:49 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Horice G Fossil


'Twas the night before the forum was fixed,

Not a citizen was posting,they just two clicked;

The eUk were sat by thier computers with care,

In hopes that the forum soon would be there;

The admins were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of banhammers danced in their heads;

And Kumnaa with his screwdriver in hand was despairing,

He was just settling down to a long night repairing,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

He sprang from the server to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,

But an old blue ford cortina, all loaded with beer,

With a drunk Irish driver, being violently sick,

He knew in a moment it must be FD,he had to be quick.

More drunk than FD his passengers were,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called with a slur;

"Come, Woldy! come, Wally! come, Horice and Eddie!

Out, Boblo! out Malta! Jan and Finest are you ready?

They came from the back of the cortina! even the boot of the car!

Now go home ! you'll have to walk,i'm not going that far!"

As drunk as they were they still did as commanded,

They staggered and stumbled,one more beer they demanded,

After FD obliged,up the street they all flew,

With the arms full of beer, and irish whiskey too.

And then, in a twinkling, he went to the door

with a swearing and cursing he fell on the floor.

As he rubbed his sore head, and rose from the ground,

Kumnna opened the door,FD was in with a bound.

He was dressed all in green fur, from his head to his feet,

And his clothes were all tarnished with mud and sheet ;

A case of beer he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a drunkard as opening his pack.

His eyes -- were quite bloodshot! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in a sneer,

And the beard of his chin was dripping with beer;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his mouth,

And the smoke it had a strange aroma,apparently tabacco from the south;

He had a slim face and a little beer belly,

That shook, when he swore like a shot of vodka jelly.

He was scruffy and drunk,like a large Irish elf,

And Kumnaa laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself;

A wink of his black eye and a rub of his head,

Soon gave him to know he wished he were dead;

He open a beer, then went straight to his work,

And fixed the server; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod,fell over,Comatosed;

Kumnaa sprang to the car, to the front in a flash,

And into the glovebox to take FDs stash.

FD was heard to exclaim, ere he dreamed on the floor,

"A goodnight to all and to all a goodnight,
now shut that fecking door!"


Horice 🙂






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