**The RG: Craig Norman Gets Spanked**

Day 847, 14:46 • Published in Canada Canada • by Banach

Seems I am so popular that my little motivational speech gets a full article in response.

Well Mr Norman, let's see what you have to offer:


Recently, Banach (the self-proclaimed “King”) published an article calling for a coup with him at the head of the government. While this kind of political theatre may get subscriptions, it should be intellectually condemned by any sane person. He makes a few flawed arguments that are rooted in a long history of doomsday thinkers. It’s easy and it’s about to be picked apart.

Firstly, when did I say I want to be at the top of the government? I AM already the head of state, the government is as interesting as watching the View to me.

Two, uptight individuals like you are making this nation a joke. You don't even know what I am writing about and you are composing fairy tales.


First, he evidences my article about the top public intellectuals. To quote Banach, “if you consider a homophobe, a separatist and an expired Prime Minister to be the talk of the town then I think Canadian society has some work to do.” We don’t consider them the talk of the town but they have the ability to shape public policy. This is not a list of all the sanest members, or the friendliest. It is a list of thinkers who have shaped public thought. The difference between an ordinary member and an intellectual is vast.

Talk of the town means that they shape public policy. Its the exact same thing buddy.

It is a list of people that are running the public image of Canada right now, and while I see what you are trying to say (mad props to Tyler and Acacia, my home brothers) but YOUR argument is flawed.


Second, he refers to a lack of creativity. “Is Canada's well of creativity and ambition running dry?”, he whines. The simple answer is no. One need only look at the daily stream of news personalities to know that creativity has never been in more abundance. He provides no evidence for this claim. Well, the evidence to the contrary is the countless rising stars of our media life. My own series of Fifteen Ways and the rise of new media tools like podcasting represent a trend towards creativity. eCanadian media and society is pushing the limits of creativity on a daily basis. If you care to look, you’ll see more tools to aid the creative thinker than ever before.

THIS to you is personality? Have you NOT seen our media over a year ago? Wait, you didn't. 6 months ago? Nope. You are talking straight sh** right now since you have nothing to compare it to.

Plugging yourself as creative is laughable and the recent article I've been seeing are mundane and a joke. Perhaps one day you will see what me, Plugson, Augustus, Bruck, Tyler, Spencer and the gang put out. Otherwise, if you like the daily jokes and two sentence articles, then subscribe to those bud.

Third, he seems to indicate that the political system in eCanada is producing a lack of tension and no feuding. I don’t know what country he’s been involved in (if he has been involved at all) but eCanadian democracy is a hotbed of competing ideas. The rise of the language debate, the rethinking of military policy, and our role in EDEN dominate the daily domain. We have calls for the Prime Minister to be impeached on econocide and so forth. The list of various political engagements goes on. I would dare to suggest that eCanadian democracy right now resembles a wonderful brawl. It’s entertaining, vibrant and constantly engaging. Whatever comes from this brawl will be extraodinary.

Language debate? HOLY SH**. We have never had that one here before. Not two years ago, not one year ago. Man, this holy Quebec separatism is brand new and interesting!

Military policy has been rethought for the last ten months straight.

Our role in EDEN is definitely nothing like it was during WW3.

Prime Minister facing a tiny little threat? This is a joke impeachment. Perhaps you were not even here for William Duncan's rule eh? Missed Jacobi too right? Man, you have NO CLUE what politics is.



Remember this, eCanada, the concept of Canada is a rather old one. Confederation was thought to be the deathknell of British North America, but it unified us. Immigration in the mid-twentieth century was considered a culture-killer but we thrived as a diverse society. Free trade was going to doom us to American enslavement, but our wealth grew exponentially. Seperatism was going to divide us but it taught us the value of Canada. There are always going to be doomsayers. This is not a new phenomenon. Ultimately, it is easy to stand on a soapbox and proclaim the sky is falling with no evidence. However, a true patriot and a true leader does not scare people into submission but inspires them. If Banach wants to act like the “Royal Guardian” of Canada, a better thing would be to avoid the temptations of political power and to contribute to eCanada in a positive way.

Hey bud, this is eCanada, not Canada. Get off the reality pills and enjoy the game a bit.

I don't need political power but if I did, I'd have more in my pinky that you in ten years so settle it down there prophet.


I was afraid that this joking about a monarchy would corrupt such an individual into seeking more power and I was right. eCanada doesn’t need a coup. eCanada doesn’t need a tyrant. What eCanada needs is a leader and movement that will fill people with confidence that this great nation will survive V2, the next challenge of our times. In the end, I believe in eCanada and I choose to buck the doomsayers. They contribute nothing to the national discourse but worry and do not advance our citizenship. Keep calm and carry on, Canada.

I can't take you seriously at this point. Your last paragraph reeks of apathy, ignorance and a general misunderstanding at what my message was - in fact, your response completely fulfilled what I wrote about.



In summation, you have no clue what you are saying man.

I respect you, but if you are going to try and argue with me, you are going to lose every time. How about you play a little bit before trying to lecture moi.

Cheers for reading,

Banach (King Amadeus I of Canada)

PS. As King, I am hereby banishing you to learn about Canadian history as a penance.