[SColbert] A New Hope for Democracy
SColbert
Citizens of the civilized eWorld, on this day we mark a transition. For a thousand years, the eUS stood as the crowning achievement of civilized beings. But there were those who would set us against one another, and we took arms to defend of way of life against the rebels. In doing so, we never suspected that the greatest threat came from within.
The Bro Force, and some within our own Senate, had conspired to create the shadow of the rebellion using one of their own as the enemy's leader. They had hoped to grind the eUS into ruin. But the hatred in their hearts could not be hidden forever. As last, there came a day when our enemies showed their true natures.
The Bro Force hoped to unleash their destructive power against the eUS by assassinating the head of government and usuring control of the USAF army. But the aims of the would-be tyrants were valiantly opposed by those without elitist, dangerous powers. Our loyal USAF troopers contained the insurrection within the Bro Force Temple and quelled uprisings in all 50 states of the glorious eUS.
By bringing the entire galaxy under one law, one language, and the enlightened guidance of one individual, the corruption that plagued the eUS in its later years will never take root. Regional governors will eliminate the bureaucracy that allowed the rebels movement to grow unchecked. A strong and growing military will ensure the rule of law.
😛Those who challenge Imperial resolve will be crushed.
We have taken on a task that will be difficult, but the people of the American Empire are ready for the challenge. Because of our efforts, the galaxy has traded war for peace and anarchy for stability. Billions of beings now look forward to a secure future. The American Empire will grow as more countries feel the call, from Europe to the wilds of Asia.
Imperial citizens must do their part. Join our grand USAF army. Become the eyes of the American Empire by reporting suspected insurrectionists. Travel to the corners of the eWorld to spread the principles of the New Order to barbarians. Build monuments and technical wonders that will speak of our glory for generations to come.
The USAF troopers, and proudly wearing the name of Imperial stormtroopers, have tackled the dangerous work of fighting our enemies on the front lines. Many have died in their devotion to the American Empire. Imperial citizens would do well to remember their example.
We have been tested, but we have emerged stronger. We moved forward as one people - the Imperial citizens of the first Galactic American Empire. We will prevail. Ten thousand years of peace begins today!
Comments
All hail the new Galactic American Empire!
This is beautiful.
http://rs1img.memecdn.com/must-have-ordered-the-jedi-burger_c_3200353.webp
😉
Broforce was just doing what some others in Congress wanted to do anyway.
illegally.
just because something is illegal or legal doesn't make it right
OMG how right you are.
just because something is illegal or legal doesn't make it wrong
Just because its there, doesn't mean you have to use it; personally I see this as a fancy version of the PTO and we frown on that, right?
Just because I am here, does not mean I am actually here
December 2010 called, they want their inquisition back.
Needs moar clones
Well.
I added my vote to the many purchased ones simply because it was a good read. Well done, Mr Colbert; well done.
250 votes, 6 comments...
oh no you caught me. I'm just friends with a lot of shy people.
Come at me bro.
What a glorious sharade-
What a glorious failure of both sides!!
50?
This is an article that I perused.
All hail the Emperor!!!
Good article, would read again!