[SCANDALOUS]: I BELIEVE THAT SEALIONS ARE THE FUTURE - INTERVIEW WITH IRONSTARK

Day 2,171, 15:53 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Citizen 4945322
AN INTERVIEW WITH IRONSTARK
CP Candidate and President of the Sealion League
Firstly, SCANDALOUS would like to announce that it is officially backing Ironstark for the CP Position. Not since the Great hero Bob Bloggs and his hatred of jibber jabber has a man caught our hearts and minds in such a way. There is a passion and eloquence to him which is a breath of fresh air in a political landscape so devoid of outside thought. Is their a future for the eUK under the Sealion League? We believe so, and urge you to give them your vote. Ironstark, you have the seal of our approval.

Interviewer: You are party president of the Sealion League. Does this mean you only represent the interests of sealions, or does your policies extend to other Arctic mammals such as walruses?
Ironstark: Oh my. This has been an issue that has plagued us since our formation. Originally founded in Greenland, we were a sealion supremacist party. Our history is stained by several... mistakes on our part, especially the border incident with the penguin pals in 1947. These days, the majority of the population are unable to tell the difference between a Sealion and a Walrus, so we figured, hell, lets just welcome all of our flippered friends. Other than dolphins. Bastards.

If you attained your hopes of presidency, do you believe that the genocide of dolphins could benefit the country?
Quite possibly. But there are other issues that we feel deserve our attention. Seal-clubbing, usually confined to the arctic circle, has had a huge resurgance recently, spreading as far south as Sweden, especially in the Jamtland Harjedalen and Svealand regions, which totally don't have resources the UK could make use of. It is vital that we go to these territories and end the threat to Sealkind everywhere before any thoughts of any killing.


DAMN SWEDES THE BASTARDS!

Past eUK conquests of Scandinavian territories haven't always been successful. Do you however believe that with your party at the helm you can give the plans the necessary seal of approval and conquer those damn Swedes (The killers!).
It isnt really a question of if the League could do this, but the eUK as a whole. I think that it is the unified effort of the nation that should be our focus, rather than a single party. Who is to say that absolutely everyone else is wrong (unless you like raw seafood, then you are a monster) just because they have less votes than you? As a truly united kingdom, rather than a bunch of bickering parties, we would be more than capable of defeating the Swedish menace. The whole point of my campaign is to ease the tension between the parties and make our people more open to compromise.

Now, on to a more personal matter: What traits do you think you can bring to the CP position that may currently be lacking?
As mentioned before, the ability to compromise! I see potential on all sides of the political spectrum. There are so many opportunities for us to blend and mix ideologies to create the best of both worlds. I think that a mindset of truly wanting to find the best mix of what our people has to offer is my best trait. I'm more than willing to experiment and admit that I'm wrong. This seems to be a bit harder for others to do sometimes.

Without meaning to cause offence, you are relatively unknown on the political scene. Do you believe that this CP candidacy bid could launch your political career a lot further?
No offence taken. (smiles) And I would certainly hope so, but I'm not aiming to big myself up as some rising star of politics. I want others to realise their potential and work together in making the eUK a better place. No single person can do that.

Have you ever considered joining one of the larger parties and attempting to make a difference there? Certainly, some of them could do with a more pro-sealion stance...
Yes, I have considered it, but it would defeat the point of what we are trying to achieve. A larger party brings with it a history and public opinion already set in stone. Trying not to sound dramatic, in it's current form, the Sealion League is pure and we can express our message without any bias or assumptions. Aswell as this, if I were to join for example a centre-left party, then it would instantly exclude all other ideologies and isolate them from the political process. Staying "centrist", even if we are not exactly centrists, allows us to take the good ideas from across the entire political spectrum and mold them into something special.

Well thank you for your time. I have been very impressed, and am happy to now say that SCANDALOUS is putting its full support behind your campaign.
It has been a pleasure talking to you and I am very thankful for the opportunity you have given us. I hope SCANDALOUS continues to churn out the high quality articles I have come to enjoy so much.

Have a pleasant evening and a Happy Halloween 😃

This has been an interview conducted by SCANDALOUS with Sealion League PP and CP hopeful Ironstark. We urge you to vote Ironstark come the 5th of November for a brighter future. Its not as if we are lyin' about his hopes.

Yours,

SCANDALOUS