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Thanks to Callista E for the Translation!

Special thanks to our hungarian Friends!
Special thanks to ePoland for this Epic-Fail!

Let's pay another visit to the Kingdom of eGarmany

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A lot has happened since our last visit.
It all started when King Gubba's Round Table was occupied by foreign knights. Finding themselves in the little kingdom, the foreigners thought they could break up the Round Table.

But the people shouted "They're from ePalen!! Hang the bastards, we want a public execution festival!! Paaaaarty!!!"

The foreign knights got frightened and defended themselves "No we never be from ePalen! We is grown up in here eGarmany!! Have eGarman Sheepdog also...!!!" and proudly presented the eGarman flags on their armour.

Grumbling, the people moved off. Another friday evening execution-fair-dream ruined! And again they had to listen to minstrel songs such as "What? What? What you has there...". After sixteen weeks of leading the eGarman Charts that really wasn't funny any more...

But I digress. The knights of the old Round Table gathered around King Gubba. He announced "The people are right, these are ePales. We must all stand together and vote together now. Let us elect the new kinghts of the Round Table!"

On election day it was veery hot in eGarmany which wasn't really surprising, it was summer after all! Gubbas knights didn't mind the warmth but the foreign knights were being cooked in their armour. They couldn't stand it. So they took off their heavy iron plating. Suddenly, there was a bluster among the people. The foreign knights were puzzled until, after a while, they understood.

They had forgotten to exchange their T-shirts, and were all wearing red-and-white T-shirt's saying "Long live ePalen".

You can probably imagine what happened! The knights of the Round Table repelled the attack... well? No, of course they didn't...

And so it happened that there were only seventeen loyal knights left at Gubba's Round Table. The others were just, if you'll forgive me, gorging and drinking.

In a haze of booze, the foreign knights drew up all kinds of silly laws. Literally. They couldn't really write, so they drew some pictures. A little house here, hangman over there...

The loyal knights tried to make sensible laws but those kept getting ripped apart.

One day a courier from ePalen brought a chest of gold. This was to be used for new bank notes to be distributed up among the ePales. Now you may wonder why they didn't just do that with the gold... the explanation is quite simple: The foreign knights weren't all that strong and as the gold was too heavy they couldn't carry it. They thought bank notes would be lighter.

Anyway, the printing went on and the ePalish knights even forgot to get drunk.

Just as they were done, the bell at the castle gate rang. One of the foreign knights went out to open the gate.

A band of green-white-red knights appeared in the inner ward. "Should we help carrying the money??"

The ePalish knight beamed "Sure!" and handed over six boxes. The seventh he carried himself. "You just follow me, I'll show you the way!" and spurred on his horse. After a while he looked back and found that there was noone following him. The green-white-red knights had disappeared! In the distance, he spotted a flag of those colours over the castle.

"Those are baad people" he shouted "Stealing the money we'd honestly grifted! You just wait!"

And he rode over to ePalen to inform the king.

In the meantime, the loyal knights of the Round Table had built a trapdoor. They put a big seign "TREASURE" on it.

When the first ePalish knight saw the sign, he ran right at it. And fell. The second one did the same. The loyal knights laughed and told king Gubby of the trapdoor. They had a little party.

Suddenly there was a horrible screeching. A horse was spotted in the inner ward. Was the horse talking?? Only now did they spot the little goblin on the back of the horse.

"Me Adam Blubber!!! Me new boss of Round Table!! No Gubba, Gubba go! Tomorrow we vote!" Shouting and screaming, he fell off the horse. Two lackeys rushed to help the goblin. He moaned.

"OOooh ooooh! OUCH. Blow! Blow!" And held his thumb out to the lackeys.

The next day the people came together to elect their king. Adam Blubber had brought some of his minions. And so everyone put his vote in a hat.

Blubbers hat stayed empty while king Gubba had to be brought a third hat.
The goblin jumped around with a red heat "Blubber want be next boss!! Adam was good! I next king and boss!"
He threw himself into the sand "Uuuhhuuuuh, I want be boss!"
But the election was over and king Gubba was radiant!

Suddenly a horde of riders appeared outside the castle. A grim-looking knight and a lady led them


"Don't you be too hard on him" the lady reminded. But the kight didn't seem to hear.

"ADAM! YOU'RE COMING HOME NOW!!" The loud and scary voice gave the people pause. "YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR TWO WEEKS!"

The gnome wasn't a gnome!! Frightened, Adam looked to the lady. He could barely keep himself from crying. "It's all right baby. We'll ride home now, wash our ears and read you a nice bed-time story..."

And so they all left. The people of eGarmany looked at each other. After a while the king began to laugh. More and more people started laughing.

...