[LOL] Lighten up, it's only day 1422.

Day 1,422, 13:30 • Published in USA Poland • by code0011

Day 1422. A landmark day.

The poll for eKosovo's independence was started. By the time everyone's voted it should be close. Serbia wants more regions, everyone else (excluding ONE and puppet states) wants an independent eKosovo.


Obligatory pic to lighten the mood

Blonde Joke

1) REPLACEMENT WINDOWS

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-glazed energy efficient kind, and today I got a call from the contractor who installed them.

He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo,............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It's been a year, I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, maybe just a soft thudding noise, so I finally just hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

2) BLONDE SUICIDE

A blonde arrives at the emergency room missing her left index finger. Naturally, the first doctor that sees her asks, "What happened?" and how the lost her finger. So the blonde begins to explain how she has been feeling very depressed lately; probably something to do with all the 'dumb blonde' jokes she has been subject to.
"I wanted to kill myself, so I bought a gun and decided to go through with it" she said. "At first, i aimed for my heart, but then i remembered that i paid $1500 for breast enlargements... and i wouldn't want to ruin them." The doctor nodded his head and continued to listen. "So then i put the gun in my mouth, but then i remembered that i spent $3000 on braces and teeth whitening, and it would be shameful to destroy my perfect teeth..." Meanwhile the doctor is asking himself how she could have possible lost a finger trying to kill herself. "So finally i decided" the blonde continued, "to shoot myself in the side of the head. But i thought the gun would be really loud, so i plugged my other ear with my finger." Immediately, the doctor understood.
Submitted by Rick von Ruger
Irish Ghost Story

This story happened a while ago in Dublin, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on.
The car started moving slowly.. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly after, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran towards the pub.
Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence fell in the pub when everybody realized he was crying... and wasn't drunk.
Suddenly, the door opened, and two people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John , were also soaked and out of breath.
Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other....
‘Look Paddy....there's that damn idjit that got in the car while we were pushing it!'

They laughed so hard at this article they voted and subscribed.

code0011
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