[Joseph Schmo] My Run for President

Day 889, 13:34 • Published in USA USA • by Joseph Schmo


My fellow Americans,

Many of you may think of me as an old eAmerican hag whose name has not meant anything to this country in months. If you do think that, you are absolutely right. The last time the average eAmerican would recognize the name "Joseph Schmo" was probably in July, during the North American Invasion. In fact, one may argue that I am not qualified to be a member of the eAmerican government in any way, shape, or form. Well, to be quite blunt...


Creative choice of image, no?

That is exactly why I am the most qualified to be President of these eUnited States

Yes, it is true. I, Joseph Schmo, am hereby declaring my intentions to run for President of the eUS.

For those of you who don't know me, in the past I have served as the General of the United States Army, the Deputy Secretary of Defense, a two term Congressman from Vermont, and as an Ambassador to Israel for over four months (from the time of their liberation in February 2009 until June of 2009, when I took over as General). I have also served as the Israeli Minister of Defence, however my term was cut short due to various RL factors.



Right now, this country has a problem. Some of the most prominent eAmericans are seriously considering the idea of joining Phoenix, and at least one has made it quite clear, at least indirectly, that he would support the United States' entry into Phoenix. While I am in favor of considering all options when it comes to foreign policy, that particular option should not be considered for more than two seconds.

Over the next week or so, I will be releasing my full platform via this newspaper (obviously, that is not the only issue facing this country). I will be glad to accept questions via PM, and I will try to answer as many of them as possible in each issue.

Regards,
General Joseph Schmo (Retired)
Former CO, U.S. Army
Former XO, U.S. Army
Former Deputy Secretary of Defense
Former Congressman from Vermont
Former Ambassador to Israel
Former Israeli Minister of Defence
Former Vice President, Nationalist Party

P.S.- I am accepting bribes to drop out of the race.

P.P.S.- Barring any actual support (ha! good joke, eh?), I will be dropping out prior to the election.