>What I would do if I was CP of USA for a week?

Day 1,997, 08:10 • Published in USA USA • by Emerick
Secondary title: Fifer's wet dream



Hi there.

If given the opportunity to be president of the internet USA for a week, just one measly little week, I'd ask for more weeks. And this is how I'd do it:

First and foremost, I'd solidify power by brokering a deal with Ajay. And Fifer. Ballsy, I know.

I would be planning for my coming to power for months, plotting behind closed doors for the coming of what I would lovingly call a revolution. Not a people's revolution by any means, Dio no. Not in the traditional sense, at least. Traditionally, people's revolutions give the power to the people. However, I plan to release the people from power, and free them from the tyranny of having to think. No, people, I will take the full burden onto my shoulders. And I will keep you fed, clothed, housed, and entertained.

I will outlaw militia MUs. Any military organization not directly under my power will be subject to constant abuse by AFA and Fiferist pawns. Any attempt to continue to exist will result in irl consequences. Fifer will probably call you crying. And then you'll never want to log in any more.

We will be in a perpetual state of war. At times, the land we hold may only be my presidential palace. At other times, our flag will fly from Asia to Europe. Going eastward, I mean. Our allies will know our good grace, and their empires will be vast as well.

Our allies will probably be Servia and Poland, by the way. And whoever else has huge population numbers for us to exploit.

I'll probably blackmail them irl to ensure that we hold ultimate power. First I'll have to blackmail "President" Barack Hussein Obama. I'll probably have to kidnap some underage boys and trade them to Donald Trump in exchange for Hussein Obama's real birth certificate. Then I'll blackmail Hussein Obama, threatening to make it public, unless he puts diplomatic and/or military pressure on countries that I demand he does.

Using the irl US's military might, I'll threaten countries irl for supreme internet power.

So in summation, I think that I will be a good president. Thank you for reading 🙂