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Could you define an apple?

Geno Garon: Well that's easy. It's the opposite of an orange. Mealy, thin skinned, and a basic primary color of red. Not like the far more excellent orange someone just brought up, which has a thick skin, succulent juice, and easy shareable slices, all the delightfully compound and complex color you know and love. Plus, the phrase "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" is all well and good, but I don't remember apples being loaded onto seafaring vessels for centuries to fight scurvy. So yes, I think in summary, the apple is just a really shit orange.

So what you're saying is that you discriminate against people who eat apples?

Geno Garon: Oh no, not at all, they're allowed to like all the shit fruits they want, no judgment. I enjoy many sub-par things. But people who prefer oranges are inherently better and will be treated as they deserve.

You reference that apples weren't loaded onto seafaring vessels to fight scurvy, I'm under the impression you're implying they were loaded with oranges?

Geno Garon: Of course! Scurvy was a well documented affliction for sea-faring crews, and those ships that could afford to stock oranges, with their vital Vitamin C, would ward off the terrible consequences felt by those who did not.

How do you feel about the Working Class?

Geno Garon: They are my brothers in arms and comrades in the battle against corporate control. Those who have much, use it to get more, even when they've never actually lifted a finger themselves to procure that abundance. Generational wealth passed from father to son is no more than genetic lottery, and those who don't win are forced to sell their blood, sweat, and tears to allow the economic dragons to enlarge their piles of gold. The worker should be entitled to far more than they get, and so it always shall be, as those who don't work ensure their ranks never grow large enough to make their privilege less special.

I see! You seem very passionate on this subject, I wouldn't have known.

Geno Garon: Through experience we gain wisdom. When I first moved to eJapan's shores and took up the mantle of the Orange Party from Emerick, I had much to learn about the political and economic powers at work; the forces that make things what they are. It's far less 'random chance' and far more 'ambition-based guidance'. The powerful fearful of losing their power and always looking to gain more, will spend years, sometimes even decades, establishing and entrenching societal mechanism to ensure that more comes back to them than they put in, at the expense of anyone not powerful enough to stop them. That is the essence of war, but today's wars are far less guns and swords, and more tax codes and government bailouts. Why spill blood, when you can entice someone to promise their time on earth instead?

I was not aware that the Orange Party used to belong to Emerick, does that make you his direct successor?

Geno Garon: I suppose in a way it does. I came over at his behest specifically to take over leadership, and I believe I was there for well over a year. However, it has been a long time since my retiring and departure, and I do not know what has happened to the Party since.

If memory serves me correctly, I believe Emerick was very anti-discrimination. How do you think he'd feel knowing his successor led an exclusive Political Party that campaigned actively against individuals preferential to apples over oranges?

Geno Garon: He may have some rather sharp words for me, but he is as responsible for my choices as I am yours. We all make our own decisions, and this is mine. It is also important to remember; choices are absolutely something you can discriminate for, because they can change. It is discrimination against immutable characteristics that is abhorrent. Those filthy apple lovers can switch to the right side any time they like and be welcomed into the citrus embrace.

I suppose the same would be said about the millions of doctors you would love to see out of a job, then?

Geno Garon: The phrase is "an APPLE a day keeps the doctor away". I advocate for oranges, not for avoiding the doctor. Be sure to visit your Primary Care Physician twice a year for check-ups and follow their instructions for a happy and healthy life.

You specifically state here: "I don't remember apples being loaded onto seafaring vessels for centuries to fight scurvy", and double down of the an oranges medicinal prowess. I can't believe there would be doctors on board those ships often?

Geno Garon: Unfortunately, doctors on board most ships during such eras as the Golden Age of Piracy were working with limited tools and procedures. Overtaxing a professional in such a situation would be unwise. Besides, I doubt an orange OR an apple would assist with a leg blown off by a cannonball. And that's even if a doctor were to be aboard, as opposed to the apparently more common solution: the ship's carpenter pulling double duty.

Are you implying that carpenters are no different than doctors? What about medical school then, do you think it's a waste of time?

Geno Garon: I do believe we're getting off topic? I was under the perhaps mistaken impression this was an interview about eJapan in the good old days?

I believe your unwillingness to answer speaks volumes despite your claim to be an ally of the Working Class. So far you've expressed distaste for doctors, a scandalous love of piracy, and have admitted to being the successor of one of the most influential men within the eWorld. I just want to make sure I'm not getting the facts wrong here, as it's written plain as day?

Geno Garon: I'm amused at the baseless accusations being presented. Making the factual claim that carpenters onboard wooden sea vessels attached wooden appendages when doctors were not present is not a claim that there is no difference between the two professions, making a reference to the Golden Age of Piracy as it is called so in history does not portray admiration for piracy, and accepting control over a political party over 12 years ago that demonstrably held little political weight does not make me inheritor of anything else Emerick had or did. I do believe your readership will be smart enough not to agree with such outlandish conclusions, nor make the Herculean leaps themselves.