[Fear] This is not a PTO attempt... Honest!

Day 2,017, 13:46 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by WayneKerr




The days are ticking down until you, the slightly retarded players of the eUK, go to the ballot booth and place your mouse cursor on your prefered name and click. With yet another incompetent player entering the ring to do battle with me on the 5th, I thought I best get the boot in first.

Over the next few minutes I'll be taking you on a journey through the in's and out's of a Month of Wayne. I'll be going into fine detail on how I plan on nullifying threats to the eUK's security, what I expect my minions Ministers to do, and what I'll be spending my our money on.


Already pulling strings for the benefit of the eUK

So as promised (and no doubt will be by Big Ant soon enough), I claimed earlier that I would bring less baw and more war to the eUK. You may think that my article about attacking the eUSA and the timing of the long awaited eSerb/eUSA Natural Enemy may have been a coincidence. But it wasn't eUK, the tentacles of the DC reach far and wide and using my contacts I was able to engineer the situation that is now playing out before our eyes. Yes, others may claim that it was them. But in reality it was me. I started the new eWorld War. I did it for you eUK, so you could get some True Patriot medals and some gold. Already I'm giving medals and gold away...

The less baw though is taking longer than anticipated and until we crack the secret of treating this game as fun, I can't see levels of baw receding anytime soon. But I will endeavour on, in the hope that one day, just one day the majority will play this game with a smile rather than a scowl.


Turn your enemies into friends \o/

Enemies can't be enemies if they're your friend, right? For zonks now we have had one perpetual enemy. Nah... Not France, although some of their country believes they are! I'm talking about those pesky Canadians. In the past year alone them buggers have took part in a 3-way gangbang of our nation, along with the cheese-eating surrender monkeys to our south and the dim witted 'tater eaters to our west. Not only that, they tried to block our route to Azores and then got all butthurt when the prat CP BigAnt decided that 'lolNorway make good fun, ROCKETS!!11!!!1!' and declared Norway as NE, which to be fair led to butthurt from pretty much the entire world.

Unlike other CP's who have always had to be wary of the Canadurps, I won't have have that problem. Seeing as the Canadian CP for June will be my good mate Pat Harper. A MPP is already being lined up with our old enemies. If congress turn it down, another will be sent. So let that be a warning to both Congresses. Me and Pat don't get bored easily...

Not only that, after a long discussion with the next Canadian CP we decided that our populations actually agree on something. The fact that we don't like our current alliances. So instead we will make our own. Simple as that. From the 6th of June, the eUK will leave TWO and officially join Canada in the new alliance, The ePool. No more comment or debate is needed. The pool will be open!


Ruling with an iron rod 101

My regular readers would have noticed my fantastic new way of structuring Government. In my declaration of intent I touched on the subject of what Ministers and Ministry I would have in my Government. A lot of CP Candidates promise a truly reflective Government. None have so far achieved it. I will. I will succeed where the offers have failed, by making things really simple. Every active person of the eUK will be a Minister. You all seem to know what's best and how to do this and that. You constantly complain and reckon you could do a better job. So I'll give you that chance. Wanna join the MoHA? Just write a guide or some news or anything half interesting. MoFA take your fancy? Just start spreading lies and bullshit to any dirty forig you meet. What are the others? I can't remember... anyway, yeah. This is your eUK, it's your community, so you do stuff, you make it your own!


Using eUK money to benefit myself you!

The eUK has more than enough cc/gold lurking about. We also have players/MU's that have filled orgs with money to Goldfish with, we have more than enough to carry out my proposed plans on making the eUK a better and stronger place. I touched on my reform for the military and that will cost around 520ish gold. Leaving a nice amount to enact my second plan on improving the eUK damage.

As MUSE or e-gov will tell you, I only train at 70 strength points a day. Really I should be training at the full 90str, but I can't afford to upgrade my 3rd Training Ground to Q4. A quick way for me to rectify that situation would be to give myself a non-returnable loan from the country accounts. This will give me the chance to deal more damage for the eUK. I will also be offering out the countrys CC to my friends in order for them to do the same and I will also be heavily investing in Q7's and rubber factories, in order to make the Dental Corps a crazily supplied unit that is self sustainable. A model for the other MU's in eUK to look up to an hope to emulate. These two plans combined will increase not only our damage direction but also our damage output.


Winning like Leo...


Yet another promise fulfilled early!

That's right not only have I brought more war to the eUK, I'm also giving the you a sneak preview of the 'Spot the Penis' competition. A competition that will be ran along with every CP article I do during the term. The aim is quite simple. Find Goku's penis. You study the avatar, you make a educated guess as to where the penis would be, you then pick a box, give me money, comment with your letter and number, then you wait to see if you win. Winners will be notified via Alerts box. There will be a wide variety of prizes up for grabs depending on how much is left over from the MoF schemes. Money/Gold/Q7Food/Q7 Tanks, you name it the prizes will contain it.

So for now I'll whet your appetite with this teaser. Give it a go, I'll even reach in and send 1000cc of my own money to the player correctly guessing where the penis will be!



Until next time...

TL😉R
BigAnt bad
Woldy bad
Wayne good
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