[CHUTICLE] INANE INTERVIEW WITH CERB

Day 1,810, 17:17 • Published in USA USA • by Chutley



Disclaimer: I used to do disclaimers, but now I don’t.


10 INANE QUESTIONS WITH CERB








1. Let’s say, hypothetically, I vote for you. Given who I am, and who you are, why might I have done that?


Cerb: As a caveman, you would most likely cast your vote for me because of the lumber, lighter fluid, and lighters that I plan to distribute to far-flung frontiersmen such as yourself. These fires can be used for warmth in winter (winter is coming), to cook food, or signal the approach of our enemies in Serbia or Hungary. Can we see Serbia from our house yet?

As a Fed, you would vote for me because I won your party's primary lawfully and fairly.


2. What makes you so unifiable?


Cerb: I'm sure you could inquire around for a more objective response, but subjectively, I think I usually stay out of the mudslinging. I get frustrated like anyone else, but I try to censor myself because unrestrained criticism is rarely received well, especially on the Internet where you cannot blunt it with a joking tone.


3. What might AFA stand for? My suggestion – Amazingly Fat A-holes. Now you:


Cerb: Anarchical Fear-mongering Antagonists


4. You’ve got a Vice President lined up already. If you could put one more in the Vice position, who would it be? And by “Vice position,” I mean this:



Cerb: If you mean add another VP, then I would go with Molly Emma or Fingerguns. I envision the VP role as someone who is able to stand in for me when I'm not available, not merely as the ticket-reinforcing patsy that the role usually signifies. Molly and I butt heads occasionally, but I respect her force of will and diligent nature. Fingerguns has an energy and passion for fixing the nation that serves her well.

If you mean literally put someone in a headlock or annoy them til they're miserable:
Ajay Bruno.


5. Who’s this dude?





Cerb: That's George Armstrong Custer! If not him, likely Jon Malcom in 10 years.





6. Obviously your name is an abridged version of the dog who guarded the Underworld in mythology. Given that, what would you tell me if I showed up at your doorstep.


Cerb: I would ask you to state your name, rank, and offer you some rosemary chicken I probably baked recently. As for the avatar, I am fascinated with origin stories and creation myths, including Greek and Roman mythology, and Cerberus seemed to embody my vigilant bodyguard nature irl. A friend from Georgia always mus-pronounced it, so it became simply Cerb.


7. Rename eRepublik with as many words as you want.


Cerb: The Sims – Balkan Version



8. Finish this sentence. Hell would freeze over if…


Cerb: An American software developer made a more substantial political simulator so we could all quit this Romanian one. 😃


9. Give me a picture.


Cerb:




10. I just saw something awful. What was it?


Cerb: What my next puppy will look like!





Thanks for doing the interview Cerb. Good luck this month.


Inanely,
Chutley