[Breaking News] Justin Bieber is a robot!

Day 931, 09:30 • Published in Estonia Estonia • by Mikrouun

English version down below.

Tervist, mu kallid kaksklikkerid!

Ilmselt said pealkirja järgi aru, et tegemist on minu hüvastijätuartikliga. Täna on viimane päev, mil ma olen online. Selle artikliga siin tõmban lahtised otsad kokku, seega olen jaganud selle mitmeks erinevaks osaks. Esiteks räägin, miks ma lahkun üldse eRepist, siis räägin enda e-elust väheke, seejärel tasun ühe võla ning lõpetuseks mõned sõnad veel.

Parim lugeda koos muusikaga.

1. Peatükk
Minek

See peatükk on pühendatud Renkasele.

Klikka pildil, et näha seda suuremana.

Juhtus siis selline lugu:
Kõndisin ükspäev koolist koju, kui minu ette maandus üks lendav ükssarvik.

Imestus oli päris suur, sest ma ju teadsin, et meie laiuskraadidel ükssarvikuid ei ela. Imestus oli veelgi suurem, kui ta rääkima hakkas, sest ei oodanud ma sealt ka inglise aktsenti kuulda.

Ta ütles mulle: "Come with me if you want to live!" Mul tolleks õhtuks midagi ees ei olnud, seega läksin temaga kaasa.
Ta viis mind ükssarvikute võlumaale(Tartust 15 kilti umbes) ning seal läksime ükssarvikute kuninga lossi, et temaga kohtuda. Kõndisime läbi koridori, kuhu oli riputatud kõikide eelnevate ükssarvikute kuningate pildid. Enne praegust oli olnud viis kuningat: Xlometheus Suur, Xmarthan Tark, Xmernhau Õilis, Xnarlhai Vapper ja Xvethelon Verejanuline. Praeguse kuninga nimi oli Bob.
Eniveis, kuningas rääkis mulle, et mitte ainult mina, vaid terve maailm on ohus. Maa poole suundub meteoorina koletis nimega Mholden, kes oli 5000 aasta eest alistatud ja kosmosesse saadetud. Seda koletist saab alistada vaid erilise mõõgaga, mis seisab tornikambris seitsme lukustatud ukse taga.

Siinkohal tulin mängu mina. Ükssarvikud võiksid ise Mholdeni uuesti Maalt minema lüüa, kuid seda pidi tegema väljavalitu, ehk mina. Miks just mina olin väljavalitu? Asi nimelt selles, et ükssarvikutel pole käsi, seega ei saa nad neid uksi lahti teha ja nad valisid lihtsalt esimese suvalise inimese tänavalt, kel oleks käed. Uskuge või mitte, aga just sel päeval olid Tartus "Käteta inimeste festival" ning neil läks üpris kaua aega, enne, kui nad minu leidsid.

Igal juhul, ma avasin kõik need seitse lukku ning astusin tornikambrisse. Mõõga asemel hakkas silma aga hoopis meetrijagu tuvide väljaheiteid ja laipu. Keegi oli 5000 aasta eest akna lahti jätnud. Egas midagi, võtsin labida ning kaks tundi hiljem oli räpane mõõk mu käes. Räägitakse, et see on sama mõõk, mida kasutas Zorro.

Pärast mõõga puhtakspesemist tuli nähtavale selle puhtast kullast tera ning kirjad tera peal. Ühel poolel oli kirjutatud "Vaprus on parimate voorus." ja "Võidukad on need, kes vaatavad surmale silma ja naeravad." Teisele poole oli kirjutatud "Made in China." Neist tarkuseteradest said ainult julgust juurde. Ükssarvikud andsid mulle ka turvise, mida nad kutsusid Jumala Kaitseks. See ei näinud väga välja selline, et ta enda funktsiooni eriti täidaks.

Varustus käes ja vaim valmis, asusin teele. Mholden oli juba Maale jõudnud ning ootas mind juba. Ükssarvikud kiirustasid mind takka, sest iga kaotatud sekund tähendab mitut inimelu. Ma mõistsin probleemi ning Metro asemel läksin McDonald'sisse hoopis. Kuigi toit on seal paberi maitsega, siis saab sealt päris kiiresti ta kätte ning ma ei tahtnud palju aega raisata.

Kõht täis, suundusin koletist otsima. Leidsin ta ühe küla juurest, kus ta parajasti ühe Opeliga hamba vahelt konte urgitses. Sain kohe aru, et intelligendiga tegu ei olnud, käeulatuses seisis üks Lexus ka ja kui mina oleks üüratult suur koletis, siis mina enda hammaste vahele just roostet ei tahaks.

Koletis ise oli päris-päris kole. Hea oleks siinkohas läbi kahe keele öelda, et "He puts the "kole" in the "koletis"" Kui mina oleksin nii kole, siis ma tapaks ka inimesi sagedusega 3 inimest sekundis.

Nagu te ehk arvate, siis tõepoolest, ilmselgelt mina võitsin, sest vaimud teadupärast ei oska trükkida(laialtlevinud fakt).

Ma lasin valla sõjakisa ning asusin rünnakule. Koletise nahk oli aga tugev, kui soomus ning selle läbistamine ei olnud väga lihtne. Koletis lõi enda terava saba mulle rindu ning kui see oleks 5 sentimeetrit paremale läinud, siis ei oleks see üldse mind tabanud. Ma suutsin tal saba otsast raiuda ning ta pikali lüüa. Seejärel sidusin ma ta selle sabaga kinni ning tõstsin enda kuldse mõõga talle pea kohale...
Olgu, mis ma ikka valetan. Tegelikult ma nägin, et ta oli suur tazode fänn ning kuna mul oli enda tazopack kaasas, siis me tegime võidu tazosid ning kuna mina võitsin, siis ta pidi 5000-ks aastaks Maalt lahkuma. Fair deal!

Läksin siis tagasi ükssarvikute juurde, kes tervitasid mind, kui kangelast ning seejärel tahtsid mõõka tagasi(sel olevat üpris suur väärtus, kullast ja puha). Nad tänasid mind abi eest ning seejärel ma lahkusin, et nad saaksid "Eesti otsib superstaari" vaadata.
Tagasi koju jõudes läksin väsimusest kohe magama ning nägin unes ükssarvikuid ja tazosid.
Lisaks sellele lähen ma suvel väkke. Täpsemalt Tapale õhutõrjesse 11 kuuks ning seetõttu jätan ma mängu pooleli. Jumal teab, kas ma kunagi võtan vaevaks siia mängu tagasi tulla.



2. Peatükk
Nolife ehk e-elu

Minu e-elu algas 4. novembril 2009 ehk päev 715. Kuidas ma sündisin? See käis umbes nii:

Pane see nooleke pildi peale ja vajuta see nupp, mis parema käe nimetissõrme all on, alla ning näed pilti ka normaalses suuruses.
Ehk siis mina olen tunnelibeebi. I tunnel on minu ema ja Sir_Tonis2 seega siis minu isa...
Kuulsin mängust orkutis ühes kommuunis ("100000 eestlast" võis olla) ja liitusin läbi Kihutaja referral lingi.
Tänu uudishimule sain jalad päris kähku alla, leidsin foorumi suhteliselt kähku üles ning õppisin ka ära, mida tähendab IRC. Plato oli ka suureks abiks.

Nonii, nüüd ma nägin palju vaeva ning korjasin kokku fotod enda e-elust. Ma tean, et ma olen kohutav fotograaf, kuid ehk lepite nende piltidega...


Olin just ostnud enda esimese maja. Kuna ta oli Q1, siis nägi ta suht räbal välja, aga katus oli pea kohal.
Maja ostsin ma mingi 2-3 päeval suurärimehelt EstMX, kes andis ta mulle väga hea hinnaga.



Astusin just enda esimesse parteisse.
Parteid valisin ma väga kaua, lugedes mitu korda läbi erinevate erakondade põhikirjad.



Hiljem sattusin tollase PP Sim Maatriksiga konflikti ning astusin TNFi, kuhu ma kohe ka partei presidendiks kandideerisin.
Ma sain teise koha, kuigi olin ainuke kandidaat...



Veebruaris 2010 lahkusin ma seni avaldamata põhjustel eRepist ning olin ära 20 päeva.
Tagasi tulin Enrii Lindebaumi artikli peale, mis oli nii südantlõhestav, et ka minu raudne süda sulas.



Olen kandideerinud kokku 2 korda partei presidendiks, 3 korda riigi presidendiks ning 4 korda kongressi...



...kuid ei ole kordagi võitnud veel...



...seega loodan ma, et ma jään kõigile meelde just pigem artiklite kirjutajana.
Märkate, et olen vasakukäeline?

See võttiski kokku minu elukese. Mingeid medalitejama ma küll siia kirjutama ei hakanud, sest neid näete ka ise mu profiililt.
Ja see oleks gei.



3. Peatükk
Eesti vs Läti

Paari päeva eest ründas eLäti meie kallist isamaad ning ma ei kirjutanud mitte ühtegi artiklit sel teemal ega isegi ei mõnitanud neid kommentaarides, nagu mul tavaliselt tavaks teha on. Ärge muretsege, kohe saab parandatud!
Aga enne! Minu väike panus Lääne-Eesti vabadusele:

Klõpsa pildile, et sellest aru saada.
Tegin selles lahingus 10% enda kogudamagest. Nagu näha, siis ma tõmbasin enda nimele veel suure kasti ka ümber, et mitte-nii-arukas-lugeja saaks ka aru, mida ma tõestada üritan.

Aga olgu, liigume edasi. Järgnevad pildid on nendele lätlastele, kes sõdisid meie vastu Lääne-Eesti lahingus.


Klõpsa pildile, et see maagiliselt suuremaks muutuks.


Klõpsa pildil, et saada enda arvutisse kole viirus.


Klõpsa pildile, et panna arvuti kinni.


Klõpsa pildile, et tellida läbi interneti endale naine Vietnamist, kes on tegelikult šimpans.



4. Peatükk
Kokkuvõte


Pärast seitsmekuulist (tegelikult kuuekuulist) mängusviibimist on tekkinud inimesed, keda ma suuremal või vähimal määral tahaksin tänada. Mõnda neist mingi kindla asja eest, mõnda üldiselt.

Alustaks minu kõige suuremast s6past!

Ma tänan anettut, et ta oli alati mu jaoks olemas ning muutis mu e-elu palju-palju meeldivamaks.
Kes ei usu, siis mingu chatti ning kirjutagu "?? s6pad" ilma jutumärkideta.

Edasi, kaks inimest, kes on mind raskeimatel aegadel aidanud ning on kindlasti väga tugev põhjus sellele, et ma juunini üldse selles mängus vastu pidasin.



Tänud ühele neiule, kes mind kogu aeg tervitas ning alati minuga UNOt mängis.

Muide, ma olen jätkuvalt 3 rekordi omanik.(#eesti-uno)

Kindlasti üks mu sõber, kes hoidis mind näiteks eRepiga kursis ka siis, kui mind ennast siin ei olnud ning oli abiks mulle EAP loomisel.


Torram-jorram või mitte, kuid just EstMX müüs mulle ilma mingisuguse tagatiseta mu esimese maja. Tänud!


See järgmine kõlab paremini inglise keeles. Thank you for being so awesome!


Kaks inimest, kes mängisid suurimat rolli minu mängu naasmisel veebruaris.



Hea sõber, kellega õlg-õla kõrval sõdida.


Tänud, et sa minu kohta ühtegi ticketit ei saatnud.


Loodan, et sa:
1) Õpid kirjutama
2) Saad kunagi presideniks


Hea töökoha ning hea palga eest.


Igas mängus on vaja ka nalja. Nalja sai eRepis vahete-vahel. Kõige rohkem nalja pakkusid kindlasti meie enda eEesti parimad trollid. Tänud teile!





Tegelikult on naljaga, ma ei soovi kedagi solvata.


Lisaks veel paar inimest, kes jäävad mulle eredalt meelde(a.k.a. kujutlusvõime sai otsa siinkohal)





























Kui keegi on nimekirjast välja jäänud, siis ma vabandan sügavalt ta ees.


Seda, kas ma mängu kunagi tagasi tulen, ei oska ma öelda(kahjuks pole ma Nastja) Ehk aasta aja pärast liitub #e-eestiga keegi SpaghettiTroll, ehk mitte... Igal juhul on teil nii kauaks pinget ja ootusärevust olemas(võite selle peale kihlvedusid teha)

Head aega, mu sõbrad!

Keep on trolling!




____________________________
____________________________


Really?? You didn't see Estonian version? Oh come on! It's like three rows above.

Hello, my two-clickers.

Probably you realized from the heading that this article is my "good-bye-article". Today is the last day I am online. With this article I'll get rid of loose ends, so I have divided it into several chapters. First I'll tell you why I am leaving eRepublik in the first place, then I'll give a short overview of my e-life, then I'll eliminate one debt and the article will end with a little conclusion.

Best read with music.

1. Chapter
Leaving

this chapter is dedicated to Renkas.

Click on the picture to enlarge it.

This story happene😛
One day I was walking home from school, when a flying unicorn landed right in front of me.

I was pretty surprised, because I knew that unicorns don't live on our latitudes. I was even more surprised when he started talking, because the last thing I was expecting was to hear British accent.

He said to me: "Come with me if you want to live!" I didn't have plans for that night so I went along with him.
He took me to the wonderland of unicorns(approximately 15 kilometres from Tartu(my hometown)) and once there we went to the castle of the king of the unicorns to meet the king. We walked through an aisle, where pictures of previous unicorn kings were. Before the current one there had been 5 kings: Xlometheus the Great, Xmarthan the Wise, Xmernhau the Noble, Xnarlhai the Brave and Xvethelon the Bloodthirsty. The name of the current king was Bob.
Anyways, the king told me that not only me, but the whole world is in danger. A monster called Mholden is coming towards Earth as a meteor. He was beaten 5000 years ago and banished to the space. He can only be killed with a special sword, which is standing in a towerchamber behind seven locked doors.

That's where I came in. Unicorns could beat Mholden themselves, but a it was meant to be done by the chosen one. Why was I the chosen one? That's because unicorns don't have arms, so they can't open those doors. So they chose the first random person from the streets who would have arms. Trust me or not, but on that day there was the "Handless people's festival" in Tartu and it took unicorns quite a while before finding me.

So I opened those seven locks and stepped into the towerchamber. Instead of a sword I saw only loads of dove corpses and dove poo. Someone had left the window open 5000 years ago. No big deal, I took a shovel and two hours later I was holding a dirty sword. There are rumors that it's the same sword that Zorro used.

After the sword was washed I saw that its blade was made of gold and there were some lines on it. On the one side there was written "Courage is the virtue of the best." and "Victorious are those, who look the Death in the eye and laugh." On the other side it was written "Made in China." Feeling more brave with those words of wisdom I recieved my armor. Unicorns themselves called it "The protection of the God", but in my opinion it didn't much look like it would serve it's purpose.

Having recieved the gear and ready to go I hit the road. Mholden had already reached Earth and was waiting for me already. Unicorns rushed me, because with every second few lives are lost. I realized the problem, so I didn't visit Metro(a sandwich restaurant) and went to McDonald's. Although the food tastes like paper there I didn't want to waste much time.

Having eaten I started to search the monster. I found him near a village where he was picking his teeth with an Opel. I realized the next second that he wasn't very intelligent, because there was a Lexus nearby and if I were a monster I wouldn't want rust in my mouth.

Monster himself was very ugly. Like...he puts the word "ugly" in the sentence "Holy s*it, that monster is so hiddeously ugly!" If I were that ugly then I'd also kill people with a rate 3 people per second.

Like you have probably realized then I obviously won the fight, because everybody knows that ghosts can't type.

I unleashed my battle cry and attacked. His skin was strong as armour so penetrating it wasn't that easy. The monster managed to hit his sharp tail into my chest. If it had gone 5 centimeters right he would've missed me. I managed to chop off his tail and knock him over. After that I rapidly tied him up and raised my sword over his head...
Okay, who am I kidding. I actually saw that he was a big fan of tazos and as I had my tazopack with me I challenged him to a battle which I won. That meant that he had to leave Earth for 5000 years. Fair deal!

I returned to the unicorn wonderland and the citizens of this magical land greeted me like a hero. After that they wanted their sword back(it's quite expensive, gold and stuff, you know). They thanked me for my help and then asked me to leave, because they wanted to watch "Estonian Idol".
When I reached home I went asleep right away and saw unicorns and tazos in my dreams.
In addition to that I will join the Real Life Estonian army in the summer. To be precise, to the Anti-Aircraft patalion for 11 months and that's the reason I'm quitting the game. Only god knows if I ever come back to the game.



2. Chapter
Nolife a.k.a e-life

My e-life began on the 4th November 2009 which was day 715. How was I born? It was like that:

Put the arrow on the picture and use the forefinger of your right arm and click the button under the finger to see a bigger version of the picture.
So I'm a "tunnel-baby". So the first tunnel is my mother which means that Sir_Tonis2 is my father.
I heard about the game in orkut from a community(I think it was "100000 estonians&quot😉 and I signed up via the referral of Kihutaja.
Thanks to curiosity I found the forums pretty fast and I also learnt what IRC means. Plato was also a good help.

So I did some extra work and got photos of my e-life. I know I'm a terrible photographer, but I hope you find them okay enough.



I had just bought my first house. It was a Q1 house, so it didn't look very fancy, but now I had a roof above my head.
I had bought the house from businessman EstMX on the 2nd of 3rd day of my e-life.



I joined my first party.
IIt took me ages to choose the party. I read all the charters of all the parties and made my decision.



Later I got into a little conflict with the PP of that time and I joined TNF where I ran for party presidency soon.
I came second, although I was the only candidate...



In February 2010 I left the game for 20 days with reasons I haven't revealed since.
I came back because of the article of Enrii Lindebaum peale, Which was so heartmelting, that even my iron heart melted.



I've ran twice for party presidency, three times for country presidency and four times for congress...



...but I have never won...



...so I hope I will be remembered mostly as an article writer.
Notice that I'm a lefty?

That summed up my life. I didn't write any "Uuh-I've-got-so-many-medals"- thing here, because you can see that on my profile.
And that would be gay.



3. Chapter
Estonia vs Latvia

Few days ago eLatvia attacked our precious homeland and I never wrote any articles on the subject or even mocked them in comments, like I usually do. Don't worry, this will be fixed now!
But first! My small contribution for the freedom of Lääne-Eesti:

Click on the picture to understand anything at all.
I made 10% of my total damage in that battle. Like you see, I drew a big box around my name so "not-so-bright-crayon-in-the-box-re ader" would also understand what I'm implying here.

Okay, lets move on. Next pictures are to those Latvians, who fought against us in the battle of Lääne-Eesti.


Click on the picture to make it magically bigger.


Click on the picture to get an ugly virus to your computer.


Click on the picture to shut down your computer.


Click on the picture to mail-order a wife from Vietnam, who is actually a chimpanzee.



4. Chapter
Conclusion


After seven months in the game(actually six) there are some people who I would like to thank more or less. Some for a certain thing, others generally.

I'd start with my greatest fr1end.

I thank you, Anettu, for making this game so much better for me.
Who doesn't believe me, go to our chat and write "?? s6pad" without the brackets.

Now there are two great persons, who have helped me during difficult times and they are a big reason, why I lasted in the game until June.



My gratitudes to a lady, who always greeted me and was willing to play UNO with me.

By the way, I'm still the owner of three records.(#eesti-uno)

Definetly a friend, who kept me informated about eRep even if I wasn't playing anymore and was the one, with who we made EAP.


Grumbler, or not, but EstMX was the one, who sold me my first house without any warranty. Thank you!


This one sounds so good in English. Thank you for being so awesome!


Two persons, who played the biggest role in my return to the game in February.



A good friend and also a brother-of-arms.


Thank you for not submitting a ticket with my name on it.


I hope that one day you:
1) Learn how to write
2) Become a president


Thanks for a good job and a good wage.


Every game needs some fun. And in eRep there sometimes was fun. Mostly buy our own very best e-Estonian trolls. Thank you!





Actually it's a joke, I don't wish to insult anyone.


And few other people who I will remember brightly(a.k.a. I ran out of imagination)





























If anyone is missing from the list then I am terribly sorry.


I can't give a sure answer if I ever come back to the game or not(unfortunately I'm not a psychic) Maybe a year from now someone called SpaghettiTroll joins #e-eesti, maybe not...Anyways, until that you have tention and anticipation(you can f.e make bets on that)

Good bye, my friends!

Keep on trolling!