[Appleby] Nice Foreigners, Nasty Foreigners and a Bayonet

Day 1,139, 10:23 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Sir Humphrey Appleby


Good afternoon Britain! I hope all the hangovers have been successfully recovered from by now,

This is part 3 of my Prime Ministerial Manifesto; and as the titles suggests, shall be based around foreign Affairs and the Military. If you’ve missed any of my previous manifestos, you can find my domestic manifesto here, my economic manifesto here and my declaration of intent here.

Foreign Affairs and the Military are among the most important areas of the eUK, our Foreign Affairs team tirelessly pursuing diplomatic ends to our and our allies benefit, and the military keeping us safe from dirty enemies. Without them, we would have been wiped from the map a very long time ago. It is thus important to keep a flexible policy for these two areas, so we can adapt and change to the rapidly altering political tensions that have greeted us in 2011.


Careful diplomacy.

Ministry of Foreign Affairs

A vital role, this Ministry will be unprecedented in its importance as alliances begin to form later in the month. We will find ourselves surrounded by changing countries, with former enemies’ now apparent allies and vice versa. This Ministry will be vital for the continuation of our society and to reassure our long-time friends across the seas that Britain shall not be found wanting in the line of duty. We have always been in a historically strategic position as the land bridge between the east and west of the eWorld, and thus we shall find ourselves flooded with offers from a variety of different countries. It would be silly to imagine that this is not also a reason to be very alert.

During the PEACE/EDEN conflicts in North America some time ago, Scotland was the link between Hungary’s possessions in Scandinavia and Canada in the west. I do not doubt that the new select of Country Presidents on either side of us will forget this fact. In such times of political and diplomatic uncertainty, the possibility of either being completely occupied or finding ourselves among the world’s strongest powers are certainly apparent. We should thus remember thus as diplomats and ambassadors discuss forming world alliances with us, and keep our options open and flexible so we find the best deal. Britain was held in Phoenix as a reliable and trustworthy ally; I’m sure this reputation can be perpetuated further along the line.

This, unfortunately, means that rash actions and quick attempts to gain territorial possessions beyond those of our natural borders are incredibly risky, regardless of the beneficial effects on the economy. It would be a policy of mine to ensure that our diplomatic position is not extemporary should we decide to colonise regions around us.

I would also be interested in developing ‘summits’ in the eUK, as was demonstrated earlier by the Foreign Office team a few terms ago. It proved successful in peacefully discussing views with our friends, allies and neutral bodies – and such improvements on our foreign relationships could prove invaluable. I would certainly favour holding a few diplomatic summits to discuss where the eUK could stand in the future.


One of our brave lads on the front, hugging a soldier.

The Military, believe it or not, defend the eUK from dirty foreigners who would do very nasty stuff to our women (if we have any). Luckily, thanks for a few diplomats; we have brave and heroic foreign allies to rely on as well. Our Military is renowned for being flown around the world and defending British interests with our allies; the benefits of which were shown when London was besieged, and tons of our allies swooped in to defeat the evil Canucks.

As a bloke in Command with a light-blue username on the external forums, I usually oversee some of these battles and have a good understanding of the current structure of the army. What I’m not too happy about is the fact that the head of the army can be replaced at the whims of the CP. This, according to most of the military, is bad. Thus, if I’m elected, I shall be changing this back to the old Chief of General Staff system. They will still, however, submit reports to cabinet on a very regular basis.

One other aspect about the Military is that our damage is limited by the quality and quantity of supplies that we give our soldiers. Thus, our damage can be increased by an increased budget for the military gained from the slightly higher income tax proposed in my economic manifesto. The better weapons we have, the more damage we do, the more battles we win, and the more people want to join the military. Fun all around.

One final implementation I would impose is that the reserves be reformed slightly (as I command them currently anyway, so all that stuff about politicising the military can ****** off. My bloody branch, so I can do what I like with it. Within reason, and that). Instead of having to rely on a small minority arriving on IRC and checking the MoD orders, they will instead be messaged every morning with strike times and the battle of the day. Hopefully this can bring a little surge to our national damage and serve us well in the future.

I am immensely proud of our army, and have been in it for as long as I can remember. They’re a good bunch of people – if you’re not already in it then send me a PM and I’ll see what I can do.

Hope you’re all alright, Cabinet and Summary to be posted for your delight on the 4th!

Yours,


Sir Humphrey Appleby and Daniel Thorrold
Prime Ministerial and Deputy Prime Ministerial Candidates.