@ Admins: BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!

Day 391, 15:59 • Published in USA USA • by Ansen

A TUTORIAL FOR NEWSPAPER SUCCESS

After an extensive amount of research, I have discovered the secret of getting a newspaper article to the top of the voted list. Please follow these three easy steps and your paper will skyrocket to stardom:


STEP 1) Title your article with a demeaning phrase addressed to the "admin" or "admins". You can "ice the cake" by including tildes, capital letters, or random symbols such as "@", "%", or "#".

STEP 2) In the body of the article itself, rant and rave at the "admin(s)" about one of two issues. The first option is to scream that you, your friends, your family, your pet hampster, or someone that your friend's friend knows has been unfairly banned, and that you demand justice. Or, if you prefer, you may TYPE IN ALL CAPS ABOUT THE BUGS IN THE GAME. USING WORDS SUCH AS "FRICKIN", "SUCKS", and "TOTAL CRAP" ARE ESPECIALLY USEFUL.

STEP 3 ) Start and/or end your article with the phrase, "VOTE THIS UP!" Important note: phrase must be in all caps for maximum effectiveness. Add exclamation points as needed.

VOTE THIS UP! 🙂