Talostastic4WorstPotUS - Winning
Talostastic
At 10:52 eRepublik time on the 26th of September, 2013, I announced my candidacy for the highest office in the eUSA, the PotUS seat. This is a very big step up for me. This was a huge flip-flop from me, as you could learn from clicking that link and hearing a clip from my first appearance on eNPR.
The fact that I can flip-flop so easily is arguably what makes me a great PotUS. Some of the worst PotUS candidates we've ever had have been steadfast in their opinions and ideas. We just don't like that in eAmerica.
I'm not saying I'm talking about this guy... but I'm talking about this guy.
Now, we all know my only serious competition recently released an article where he doesn't mention me at all. This is an absolute outrage. But doing stuff about something that outrages me is a waste of time, because we live in The Matrix.
MORE CAMPAIGN PROMISES!
1 ) I will pay the eRepublik Team money to make sure that anyone who votes for me will never again get a forfeit point for vulgarity. Duck yeah!
2 ) Hale26 has volunteered that, if I am elected, he will be everyone's free sex slave. Because Gecko sex.
3 ) I cannot stress this enough. 0% tax rate, and whatever it takes to get it done.
4 ) Change the eUSA National Anthem to Ice Ice Baby.
5 ) th of Jim Bean.
6 ) Somethingsomething... hey look, more cabinet members!
Actually... nevermind. I'll do more later. I'm not in nearly the state I was in for the original article, so I won't waste any more of your time reading this one. Except, you know, I just bought votes for this one, so you're gonna see it anyways.
Oh, that leads me to campaign promise number 7.
7 ) Ban Voters-Club.
8 ) Ban Sub4Sub too.
I lied. Here are some new Cabinet Members!
As you can see below in the comments, Sarah is an excellent reader who fully read this article before commenting. This totally isn't an article edit to make her look silly, I just properly predicted the future. BOOM!
As you can see from his About Me, Paul is smarter than the average bear. So, I shall put him in charge of tricking them, and hope eventually another smarter-than-average bear comes along and eats him.
FlorenciaC has the mechanical "eRepublik Ambassador" badge, so you know she's important. But since I have no idea where Argentina is, beyond that name being mentioned every half a breath in the last season of Dexter, she's clearly from a fictitious, made-up land of craziness.
In conclusion... vote for me on October 5th, so I have a reason to use this terribly photoshopped image;
If you have any questions or want to join my Cabinet, feel free to text me directly,
(920) 445-8712
Or, you can join my Campaign Channel
PM me directly if you want the campaign channel's actual name.
Comments
~INSURGIO
o/\/\
desde españa con amor. Te cojo la pole
y te doy una recetica pa que no te moskees.
MANITAS DE CERDO
4 manitas de cerdo limpias y troceadas
1 cebolla grande
2 ajos
3 guindillas
Pimienta molida al gusto
200 gr. de tomate triturado
1 chorro de brandy
Agua para la cocción
Aceite de oliva
Colorante
Sal
¿Cómo se prepara Manitas de cerdo en salsa?
Salamos las manitas de cerdo previamente troceadas, y las ponemos a cocer en la olla exprés con abundante agua durante 20 minutos (en cazuela necesitarán mucho más tiempo).
En una cazuela aparte, echamos aceite y doramos el ajo y la cebolla, todo bien picadito. Cuando empiecen a estar pochados, añadimos la pimienta molida, las guindillas, el perejil, el tomate triturado y el colorante, removiendo durante varios minutos. Luego, añadimos el brandy, lo dejamos cocer a fuego lento durante varios minutos y agregamos a continuación un chorro de agua de la cocción de las manitas. Apagamos y pasamos por el pasapuré o batidora.
Volvemos a meter la salsa en la cazuela y añadimos las manitas. Dejamos cocer 10 minutos a fuego lento, removiendo de vez en cuando suavemente. Rectificamos de sal al gusto y… a comer.
Nota del autor
Esta receta esta mucho más rica si se deja reposar unas 5 ó 6 horas.
I wasn't mentioned even once, I'm seriously questioning your dedication to your voters.
RABBLE RABBLE HEAR YE HEAR YE!
I CONCUR WITH YOUR SENTIMENTS, GOOD SIR.
Can't you read noob?
I can't believe he didn't mention me... I am outraged! Booooo
I look forward to taking advantage of Hale26 to the tune of Ice Ice Baby...
A lot.
...I'm not sure if I should feel disturbed, or flattered.
Derphoof cheating on me again ;__;
While drinking a 5th of jack and 5th of jim beam. Mmmmhm, we can double tag him. Eiffel tower baby.
"I'm not in nearly the state I was in for the original article," and what was that state again? Heavily medicated, drunk or both?
Still voted.
i think me mentioned Vicodin or Perc,s. God love modern chemistry
Las denominaciones de origen reconocidas del cerdo ibérico son:
Jamón Ibérico D.O. Jamón de Huelva. Elaborado en la sierra de Huelva, en los pueblos de Aracena, Cortegana, Cumbres Mayores, Jabugo, etc...
Jamón Ibérico D.O. Los Pedroches. Forma exterior alargada, estilizada, perfilada mediante el llamado corte en V. Conserva la pata y la pezuña para facilitar su identificación. Color característico del rosa al rojo púrpura y aspecto al corte con grasa infiltrada en la masa muscular.
Jamón Ibérico D.O. Jamón de Guijuelo. Se crían en las estribaciones de las sierras de Gredos y Béjar.
Jamón Ibérico D.O. Dehesa de Extremadura. Se sitúa en las dehesas de alcornoques y encinas de Cáceres y Badajoz.
Las denominación de origen están protegidas legalmente por el Reglamento Europeo (CE) nº 510/2006 del Consejo de la Unión Europea.
Voted. I still think you could win!
~TALOS4WORSTPOTUS~
My gecko STDs won't spread themselves people.
Naturally, humans are immune to gecko STDs 🙂 We can all have guilt free sex with you knowing we'll never be at risk for your GIV (Gecko Immunodeficiency Virus) 😉
What about me? ;-;
Voted for "5)th of Jim Beam"!
[removed]
Pure excellence!
Murricah we have a WINNER!!!
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P.S.
Could you please consider a -10% tax?
Screw "consider", it'll be the law of the land.
What, no bacon???
Someone in Green Bay, Wisconsin, is getting a lot of texts right now about being the "secretary of sexual favors".
I want to meet this person.
I'm also getting some pretty blurry pictures of what I assume is someone's genitals.
i wish you all the worst
SUSPIROS DE ESPAÑA
Quiso Dios
con su poder
jugar con fuego y rayos de sol
y hacer con ellos una mujer.
La esculpió
de junco y miel,
y de caricias hizo su piel
de isla y volcán su corazón.
Cuerpo de dunas cerca del mar,
alma de madre primeriza en placer.
La voz de la guitarra al cantar
suspira sin querer.
¡Ay, Señor! ¡Dime quién es!
Mujer que vuelve loco al amor,
mujer de la cabeza a los pies.
¡Ay, Señor! ¡¿Quién serás tú?!
Dorada y reina en el interior,
¡roja y olé! por el norte y el sur.
¡Tierra del trigo!
¡Sierra de peñas!
Sueño contigo,
y aunque no sé con qué sueñas,
sé que quieres navegar.
Esa mirada
aventurera
guarda entre lluvias
de primavera
penas de estatua
que con lágrimas de cera
aprendió a llorar.
Y yo puedo ver
en cuanto te miro
pasar toda tu historia de mujer
tan solo en un suspiro.
¡Ay, Señor! ¡Dime quién es!
Mujer que vuelve loco al amor,
mujer de la cabeza a los pies.
¡Ay, Señor! ¡¿Quién serás tú?!
Dorada y reina en el interior,
¡roja y olé! por el norte y el sur.
~TALOSTASTIC4WORSTPOTUS~
i'm just gonna say lol
WAIT!!!!
The national anthem to Ice Ice Baby? I need paid bro!
Arguably the best campaign I've seen in a long time, granted missed a few but still with the 'greater good' hand picked elections there really wasn't much campaigning to be missed so I'm told.
Wishing you the best in your non-run run!
olaaaaa queee aseeeeiii por akiii!!!!
que raro ablaiii uhtedeeee
Best campaign promises ever.