Congress Passes Media Tax

Day 1,436, 14:11 • Published in USA United Kingdom • by Devoid


The newly elected Congress has wasted no time in getting down to business. As you no doubt know, last term Congress passed a major tax increase. However, the thirst of the military's budget is not satisfied. Congressional leadership knew it would not be politically feasible to further increase income taxes, or to raise VATs, due to rising discontent amongst the masses.

But then they came upon what a well-known Congressional elitist who declined to be named described as "an insidiously brilliant idea." To quote this source: "We already tax wages, sales, and imports, and people whine about this enough. So what if we tax this whining? We'll put a levy on each article, and it will both earn us revenue and shut these complainers up."

Another long-time Congressman who was a major proponent of the income tax increases had this to say: "The military doesn't write much anyway, so this is a nearly perfect way for us to take money from the unwashed masses and give it to them. They're the only Americans that count, anyway."


unwashed masses being dealt with accordingly




Debate in the Capitol raged over the tax rates to charge, and on what basis to charge them. In the end, a staggered system was approved. The rates will be $0.15 per word up to 100 words, then $0.20 up to 250 words, and finally $0.25 for each word beyond 250. Our first source said, "Short articles are usually harmless. When someone's mad, they get wordy. And so we need to make sure we hit them where it hurts."

This tax will be implemented on November 1st. While there is no game mechanics-based way to enforce compliance, Congressional leadership asserts that anyone who doesn't pay "their fair share" is a bad American, and will be rightfully condemned for their non-compliance.






- Devoid
your five-star Congressional reporter