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This article is part of the eUK Game of Thrones, cunningly devised by none of other than our former President Talon Karde, which can read about here.



I am Bob Boblo, steward of Hellholt and loyal servant to Huate Allapies of House Martell. For those who don't know much about and House Martell and why it is awesome, allow me to give you a spolier free enlightenment.

Are we sitting comfortably?

Once upon a time, Dorne was contested by a range of petty leaders, foremost of which were the Martells of Sunspear. Then one day a warrior queen by the name of Nymeria decided to conquer Dorne to find a place in the world for her people. She joined her strength with that of Mors Martell, and together they made Dorne submit to their rule, got married, and, given the Martell line has continued for centuries, they then presumably had animalistic sex in a manner that can only be acheived by a warrior queen and a petty king. When the Targaryens took over Westeros, they failed to conquer Dorne even with their fabled dragons and Dorne only became part of the realm by marriage. House Martell truly are unbowed, unbent, unbroken!

The influence of the peoples that came to Dorne from over the sea led to a diverse and unique culture compared to the rest of Westeros. Dorne is ruled not by a lord, but a prince, spicy food is forever in vogue and polygamous relationships are not only accepted, but encouraged by all. Join House Martell and experience a world of opulence, sexual liberation and most importantly, jalapeno peppers



Now as the title of the article makes clear, this is no mere recruitment article. My duty to the realm is why I urge everyone who joins the game in the near future, or even those who are already in the game to not only join House Martell but help make Huate Allapies the King on the Iron Throne. He is the only man to resolve the upcoming troubles that face us all.

This is because of the upcoming Predicament on Pyke™, which only Huates is truly capable of dealing with. Why? Well, because of the Scandal that will Rock Westeros™.

An unfortunate event recently transpired in our erepublik Game of Thrones. Bella, the Lord Protector of the Iron Islands, was lost to the ocean, and quite disappointingly has yet to rise again harder and stronger, and even more disappointingly left no clear heir. The Iron Islands are leaderless and a Kingsmoot is looking possible, which always lead to a bloodbath. With the bulk of Westeros's naval strength lying with our ironborn brethen it is imperative that the new King resolves the Predicament on Pyke™ and restores order.

The solution to this problem lies in Dorne. Some say the Ullers in Hellholt are half mad, and the other half worse, but in actuality we possess a certain low nobility and I thus put my heart, my soul, my blood, my sweat and even my penis into finding a peaceful answer to the horrible Predicament on Pyke™. It was because of this that I discovered the Scandal that will Rock Westeros™.

It was often rumoured that Bella's mother was a salt wife from across the narrow sea. I tracked down that salt wife and found her line traces to a pirate from Braavos called Barry. After inspecting an old tome called A History of Pirates Called Barry, I found his line traced to a Red Priestess from Asshai called Gertrude. After a long journey to the far east I found out from the President of the International Red Preistess's and Assorted Female Religious Figure's Union that she heralded from a famous family of warrior priests who were determined to be great warrior queens because their line descended from the second cousin once removed of the Warrior Queen Nymeria. The same warrior queen who married a certain Mors Martell and is an ancestor to the modern day House Martell.

Clearly, Huates Allapies of House Martell is the rightful heir to the Iron Islands!

This is indisputable, and the best, peaceful solution to the Predicament on Pyke™ is clearly for the new King of Westeros to make the Iron Islands swear fealty to House Martell.

The only way to ensure this happens is for all the Houses of Westeros to back Huates Allapies as the King on the Iron Throne.

Instead of rejecting the possibility out of hand, think about this seriously. First of all, Dorne is not that powerful right now. We wouldn't be able to use the throne to threaten the Starks or the Lannisters or any of the other houses riding high right now. House Martell is also characteristically isolationist; we have desire to meddle in the affairs of the other great houses. And, most of all, Huates is a fair and consensual leader.

For peace and leadership, lets make Huates king!

Thankyou for reading!