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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.

WHPR [Day 1,273] No te metas con Texas

Day 1,273, 23:59 • Published in USA USA

• by James S. Brady Press Room

Index
1. What part of ‘Don’t Mess With Texas’ do you not understand?
2. Learn to love Big Brother
3. Technology 101

Apparently, the attack on Texas was actually an auto-attack that occurred due to Mexico’s open war with the United States. Still, ‘MURICA.

I love Big Brother. And so should you.
Your beloved and generous government needs your assistance, America. Many changes are underway with the structure of our departments, most of those changes being expansions. Now, as any expert in expanding Government Control over the populace can tell you, it requires people. So in order to help our expansion into your personal liberties, we need your help. Specifically, the White House Intern Program and Media Department.
The White House Intern Program has been adapted to incorporate aspects of the old Human Resources, meaning, Interns will be used to fill the needs of other departments permanently, not just temporarily as had been the practice previously. For example, Interns are currently being used to supplement the revival of the Community Development Program, which is being recreated by our new Department of Interior Administration, Secretary Bruce Sommer and Deputy Secretary xRoWxTriggers. If you’d like to become an Intern/Cannon Fodder, apply here!

Moving on to the Media Department, I recently announced that Media would be undergoing some major changes, and trying a bunch of crazy shiznit that I think might possibly kinda a little maybe work in our current adminf*cked situation. I wrote a bit about it asking people for ideas, comments, concerns, life stories, ect ect. Go read it and see if you’re interested in helping out with any of the options. Then message me and if I feel like it I might PM you back. Bribes help. But they have to be creative. None of this Gold, USD, food, weapons, crap.

Straight from the brilliant minds at your Technology Department, I’d like to re-introduce the updated version of the National Broadcast System. After a few Admin changes, the old version was rendered obsolete, therefore, anyone who previously had the script installed will have to re-install it. Thankfully, due to some new changes with the program, this situation shouldn’t be a problem in the future.
To everyone who has never had this system installed, what’s wrong with you.
Masterminds Qnfauf and CRoy spent quite a bit of time on this gem, and it’s potential to help our nation is incalculable. To put it simply, the National Broadcasting System allows the eUS government to display messages directly to your eRepublik home page. You know those select few days that Arm America does a distribution where everyone can get free weapons? Yea, this’ll tell you when that happens. Ever feel like an idiot when you’re totally out of the current event loop of our country, and your family disowns you because of it? Never again! Are you so lazy that you want to eliminate 1 click to get to the DoD Orders? Who isn’t!
Above all, if you don’t have this script, not only is your ePeen minuscule, you’re really missing out on a fantastic retention and activity tool for the country. So if you don’t have the script, download it here. Tell your friends, tell your enemies, TELL EVERYONE.

Oh yea, one more thing. Secretary of Technology, Qnfauf, is really a quiet person. He doesn’t really like the limelight all that much. However, in the spirit of investigative journalism, I’ve been able to acquire a photograph of this elusive government official. So without further ado, Secretary of Technology, Qnfauf....