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WHPR [Day 1,228] Early Bird Gets the Worm Edition

Day 1,228, 04:08 • Published in USA USA

• by James S. Brady Press Room

Index:
1.) Serbia Apologizes
2.) Pizza the Hut Embraces Socialism
3.) Moon Made of Jarlsberg, not Bleu
*.) Great Links

Serbia Apologizes:

In a startling turnabout, the Serbian leadership has apologized for wiping out Croatia and for turning their backs to their long-time allies in Russia and embracing the Poles instead.

Not content with setting that record straight, in statement entitled "Gosh, What Were We Thinking?", they also noted that "New Zealand must be free to pursue an independent foreign policy. Players there should be free to speak and write in New Zealandish."

It remains to be seen if the Balkan powerhouse will actually join EDEN or Terra, but the rumours are flying around that Serbia is planning to pay reparations to everyone they've ever displeased. A huge donation should be arriving in your Inbox soon!

Pizza the Hut Embraces Socialism:

As if the news out of Serbia wasn't enough to rock your socks, perennial ultra-conservative campaigner Pizza the Hutt also announced some jaw-dropping news today.

In a heart-felt message released via back channels, he said that he now fully embraces the anarcho-socialist policies promoted by various e-lefties and wants everyone to know, as he put it, that "commie girls are super-hawt".

Moon Made of Jarlsberg, not Bleu:

Exciting news today on the scientific front as well. Astronauts from the eNASA's Apollo Program announced that during their recent explorations of the e-Universe outside of eRepublik, they happened to make a short re-fueling stop on the Moon.

Much to their surprise and delight, it turns out that the great satellite is not made of stinky Bleu Cheese, as previously thought, but of tasty, delicious Jarlsberg. Mining operations have now begun and we can expect a dramatic drop in food prices once the "moon-baked grilled cheese sandwich" module is implemented.

Subscribe to and vote every day for WH Press Room (WHPR), and to the papers listed below

- Department of Defense Orders, from the Department of Citizen Orders

- The Vanguard World, President Glove's paper

xio, PQ
1-April-2011

Comments

James S. Brady Press Room Day 1,228, 04:09

Smile, it does you good.

Gnilraps Day 1,228, 04:10

voted and smiling

JLake4 Day 1,228, 04:12

voted, smiling.

Zhali Day 1,228, 04:18

NO attack asturias, no vote

George Pumpkinette Day 1,228, 04:21

why do you not change the links occasionally, others play besides the elite

weasel2 Day 1,228, 04:29

prefer Alpine Lace myself. Voted with a smile.

The Libertine Day 1,228, 04:32

:😄:

Jovan Tekelija Day 1,228, 04:40

smiled, then voted : )

Silas Soule Day 1,228, 05:31

Hi George,

1) As a matter of fact, the links have been changed occasionally and, personally, I thought it was kind of innovative to billboard personal papers and not just government-run ones.

2) Also, kindly note which parts of the phrase "White House Press Room" are unclear, OK? This is not "All the Cool Papers in the USA". Though a paper like that would be p cool, this is a White House newspaper.

3) Also, see first comment.

Big hugs,
PQ