WHPR [Day 1,228] Early Bird Gets the Worm Edition

Day 1,228, 04:08 Published in USA USA by James S. Brady Press Room


Index:
1.) Serbia Apologizes
2.) Pizza the Hut Embraces Socialism
3.) Moon Made of Jarlsberg, not Bleu
*.) Great Links






Serbia Apologizes:

In a startling turnabout, the Serbian leadership has apologized for wiping out Croatia and for turning their backs to their long-time allies in Russia and embracing the Poles instead.

Not content with setting that record straight, in statement entitled "Gosh, What Were We Thinking?", they also noted that "New Zealand must be free to pursue an independent foreign policy. Players there should be free to speak and write in New Zealandish."

It remains to be seen if the Balkan powerhouse will actually join EDEN or Terra, but the rumours are flying around that Serbia is planning to pay reparations to everyone they've ever displeased. A huge donation should be arriving in your Inbox soon!





Pizza the Hut Embraces Socialism:

As if the news out of Serbia wasn't enough to rock your socks, perennial ultra-conservative campaigner Pizza the Hutt also announced some jaw-dropping news today.

In a heart-felt message released via back channels, he said that he now fully embraces the anarcho-socialist policies promoted by various e-lefties and wants everyone to know, as he put it, that "commie girls are super-hawt".





Moon Made of Jarlsberg, not Bleu:

Exciting news today on the scientific front as well. Astronauts from the eNASA's Apollo Program announced that during their recent explorations of the e-Universe outside of eRepublik, they happened to make a short re-fueling stop on the Moon.

Much to their surprise and delight, it turns out that the great satellite is not made of stinky Bleu Cheese, as previously thought, but of tasty, delicious Jarlsberg. Mining operations have now begun and we can expect a dramatic drop in food prices once the "moon-baked grilled cheese sandwich" module is implemented.






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xio, PQ
1-April-2011