The weed is mightier than the sword.
I swapped my wife's parachute around with her backpack.
Now when the bitch goes on her stupid camping holiday, all she will have is a parachute.
I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company.
I'm now the main stake holder.
Managed to get rid of my mean boss yesterday after he had a heart attack in the office.
If only he'd allowed personal calls on company time, I'd have phoned him an ambulance.
I was running through the forest chasing a girl with a massive hard-on.
In hindsight, I think she might have been a man...
I wouldn't say my wife was fat...
She still is.
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