[XLI] THE X-FILES / ISSUE 08
Hadrian X
SECTIONS
I. & II. SPECIAL FEATURE / THE XLYMPICS
III. THIRD BASE (aka THE HOT CORNER) – Darya Klishina. The only Russian you need to know. Well her and maybe Khotko, but for different reasons entirely.
IV. EDITOR’S NOTES
I. THE XLYMPICS – A PRIMER
By Hadrian X
“Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We're so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside!”
Greetings and salutations my fellow eMericans.
Summer’s a slow time on eRep, but we’re about to speed it up… or, heat it up. Or… whatever. We’re gonna do something cool. In honor of that trash ridden Zika fest in Brazil, we’re having an epic contest of brains and graphic design wizardry and it shall be known as – THE XLYMPIC GAMES.
But Hadrian, are you drunk? Or stupid? Or drunk and stupid?
My answer is maybe both. But that’s not the point. No one participates in these stupid eRep contests they say. It’s a waste of time they say. Well I say, I’m gonna do it anyway because I like doing stupid things and making them awesome. So let’s do that thing I just said. Sound good?
To prove it, we’re going to be giving away shiny metal colored medals for the best writing, graphic design, sick burns and more. We’re also giving away a bunch of money. For each gold medal, winners will get $2,000 cc. $500 cc for a silver and $250 cc for bronze. But I don’t want you to say, hey I can win $250 for coming in third place. Don’t sell yourself short like that. Go for the gold and get all those sweet sweet 2k cc’s for yourself. The XLYMPICS are for winners. You’re a winner aren’t you? Aren’t you???
If you said yes, let’s spend the next three weeks (or four if I fall behind) competing with, insulting and judging each other for love of cold hard cash. Oh and if you win, you’ll also earn the undying respect and admiration of your fellow eMericans and immorality on the webpages of this gypsy dumpster fire of a browser game. I’ll also be your friend if you want. Srsly. I like winners.
If you’re a loser, you should totally compete anyway, since these competitions are way easy. You don't have to write a f*@king sonnet or anything (although for one event you do have to write a f*@cking sonnet). But we also have a Mad Libs event where you just fill in the blanks of a sentence. How hard is that? Also, since we all know a lot of eReppers are kinda flaky, YOU could end up beating them when they stop playing and are disqualified. Then you won’t be a loser any longer, you’ll be a WINNER! And even better, then they will be the LOSER! Sounds good, right?
Let’s do this…
Your pal,
Hadrian X
President, Chariman and Lord Commander UXC (eUS XLYMPIC Committee)
II. ADDRESS FROM POTUS YUI MHCP001, A LIST OF EVENTS and PLAYER REGISTRATION
My fellow Americans,
Today is a great day.
Not only was tonight the eNPR Presidential Debate, which you can watch at http://www.beam.pro/eNPR, but it is also the day where a great event comes to light for people to participate in.
That’s right, I’m talking about what you probably already can guess from the title of the article, it’s the first ever XLYPMICS!
I’d like to thank Hadrian for the honor of being the one presenting these events to you. There are events for the writers, designers, and basically every kind of eRepublik Content Creator!
Without further ado, here are the events!
~Yui MHCP001
President of the eUnited States of America
Event descriptions by co-eUS SoCA, Ilene Dover:
Full event description and official rules: https://xfilesbyhx.wordpress.com/xlympic-games-i-xli
If you would like to compete in the XLYMPICS, please fill out the ENTRY FORM
Any player is eligible to compete. All players must select an approved political party or military unit to represent in the games. If you do not belong to either, you can select one temporarily or choose the “Independent X-Team”.
Here is a testimony from Andrizzle: “Holy balls, XLYMPICS sounds amazing!!!!” (Editor’s note: Exclamation points added for effect.)
III. THE HOT CORNER
The Rio Olympics start this week but the Russian track team wasn’t invited. That means this may be the only opportunity you fine folks will have to see Russian track star Darya Klishina. So, here she is… on some beach somewhere. Not a beach in Rio. ;_;
IV. EDITOR’S NOTES
The WINNER(s) of last issue's COLIN LANTRIP MEMORIAL AWARD OF COMMENTING EXCELLENCE and (sharing) $1,000 USD/cc is RAINY SUNDAY!
Do YOU want to WIN the Lantrip Award and $1,000/cc! Of course you do! WRITE A COMMENT and if it gets the MOST LIKES, you WIN!
See the illustrious previous Lantrip Award Winners HERE.
“Come inside, the show's about to start
guaranteed to blow your head apart
Rest assured you'll get your money's worth
The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth.
You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo.
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll...”
Thanks for reading and I hope to see you winning all the XLYMPIC golds! And spread the word! Much appreciated!
Margot can haz votes? Suicide Squad is out Friday. Thanks!
Comments
first
But are you the first to sign up to compete? http://tinyurl.com/za68dp3
:>
probably not
Everyone: please sign up for this.
Also if you think poetry is uncool you're seriously missing out...
Yes, please do what Paul says and sign up. And tell your friends to sign up. And if you don't have any friends, then find some and then ask them to sign up. TIA.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Poetry is uncool
And so are you.
4/10 as poetry, meter disrupted by the "Poetry is uncool" line (should be four syllables)
8/10 as one sick burn
;___;
Swag
Most swag
Looks fun!
o/
\o Wooky Jack part of TEAM SFP in the XLYMPIC GAMES perchance?
This is hawt. Inject it directly into my veins.
TEAM BROFORCE already has two competitors signed up. Derpy iz #3?
Hell year
So you added the group competition! More fun!
Hopefully you will be competing Comet! 🙂
Of course I will 🙂
As I sai😛 Holy Balls this looks amazing!!!!!!!! (Exclamation points added for effect after seeing the editors addition for effect). Also, I will be completing in Debate This and Sick Burn. Come at me bro.
LOL, those extra exclamation points were highly effective! 🙂
I look forward to your SICK BURNS and DEBATING... things. REACH FOR THE GOLDS!
Also, know me!
Also, know Khotko's cat!
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/us-monthly-f-d-up-index-possible-august-forecast-2607666/1/20
I'm bad in all these contests. All!
Mad Libs you just pick random words to fill the blanks in sentences, so it's really easy. And the 10CATHLON you just pick a song, a video and a picture that you think are swaggy. That's it. You should definitely enter Mr. Y! 🙂
selling meldonium. expensive. 10 gold.
As this isn't an athletic competition, the demand might be low for meldonium. Perhaps ritalin and red bull might have more buyers. Respect your entrepreneurial spirit tho.
Can't wait to see if the reshoots added any humor, but with a crazy woman swinging a bat it should at least be fun to watch....
Agreed. Crazy women swinging bats is always fun to watch. 🙂
I am 100% in love with your writing. You are you, and don't try to be anyone else! Loves ❤
Thank you Foxi! And thanks for the sponsorship money too. We'll be making an announcement soon. 🙂
I haven't read this yet, but I signed up for everything anyway.
I hope you win all the things.
Where can I donate all my monies to this, it's a great idea.
If you'd like to make a contribution, J-Kill, PM me. 🙂
Then I'll add you to the Hall of Heroes. 😉
https://xfilesbyhx.wordpress.com/hall-of-heroes/
Also, sign up to compete! It'll be fun!
SIGN UP: http://tinyurl.com/za68dp3
Great stuff. Excited for the games.
Thanks John G! I hope you sign up and compete! 🙂
SIGN UP in 20 seconds!: http://tinyurl.com/za68dp3
Can I set up my mobile BBQ truck outside the XLYMPICS?
Because, you know, BBQ FTW!!!
We might be able to work something out. You serving KC, Memphis, Carolina or Texas Style BBQ?
Would love to finish mission 2 !! 3/1
https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/would-love-to-finish-mission-2-3-1-2608003/1/20
When do the XLYMPICS start? I don't want to miss deadlines.
sign ups will close in a couple days and then we'll announce the timelines and submissions and stuff. We'll start the events this weekend.