The weed is mightier than the sword.
Managed to get rid of my mean boss yesterday after he had a heart attack in the office.
If only he'd allowed personal calls on company time, I'd have phoned him an ambulance.
I was running through the forest chasing a girl with a massive hard-on.
In hindsight, I think she might have been a man...
I wouldn't say my wife was fat...
She still is.
Widespread panic sweeps through Barcelona...
As Messi's goal drought stretches to 90 minutes.
I must be really unlucky.
Every time I have an argument with somebody on the internet, they turn out to be a cage fighter.
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