Lord Penguins Herald - newspaper of Lord Penguin

40

A Story from James McNamara, a CC member

14 • Day 800, 18:36 • Published in Canada Canada

•

The ocean spray, hit my face, it stung my eyes, I landed back onto home soil, distress was etched into my face, so is the face of all the survivors, we stormed into Whales, but were pushed back, we weren't suppose to win, it was a distraction,

78

eRepublik is my WoW; Virus decimates WoW servers

13 • Day 730, 19:29 • Published in Canada Canada

•

In tech news today, a virus has gone around the internet deleting all the information on the WoW servers, along with the programming code for the game itself.

Blizzard in response to this stated “Right now we are really wishing we had backed

13

Turtle Causes Mass accident on I-69

3 • Day 729, 19:01 • Published in Canada Canada

•

Tragedy struck on the I-69 today, as a turtle caused a mass collision.

It happened when George Houston, a PWLA member (People who Like Animals) saw the turtle and swerved to avoid it, smashing into the nearby propane truck causing a chain

10

Man Bankrupts local fast food Joint, by dieing.

0 • Day 727, 20:03 • Published in Canada Canada

•

Tomas Rudker, died last night in a incident involving a deep fryer, 10 pounds of fish heads, and a bottle of cough syrup.
It is unclear why he was doing what he was doing but we here at Sulphuric Times say that it probably was just garbage day.

25

eH1N1 How not to get eSick!

9 • Day 726, 21:25 • Published in Canada Canada

•

Yay! The eFlu season is almost here, now I can exploit people with sensationalist news!
...
...
...
Oh you’re here... *cough*

In other news, 300 cases of eH1N1 have been reported in your town, and officals have stated that that number could