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A Timely Bitch

About my newspaper

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The rantings and ravings of Mellie, coming to your house since late Beta.

11

Editorial Discretion

8 • Day 294, 12:11 • Published in Turkey Turkey •

Editorial Discretion

Official Press Release
From the Mayoral Office of Heraklion

Our fellow eRepublikans

It is becoming increasingly aware that we need to clean up our act! Of course, we are talking about cleaning up spam. Over the last

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14

Timely Update: Editor Apology, Gift Giving, and V1.

17 • Day 292, 13:58 • Published in Turkey Turkey •

Apology to Huffle
We at A Timely Bitch offer an official apology to our Queen Huffle for using the offensive term Turkey when we should have been using "The New Israeli Empire," or NIE for short.

Gift Giving
As I have been reading about in the

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14

Justice has been served!

16 • Day 287, 09:56 • Published in Turkey Turkey •

Citizens of this glorious eWorld -

It is with great joy that I report Hufflepuff is the Turkish president! Yesterday, the almighty powers that be smote onrche with a permanent ban. Of course, we all know that onrche will try to return, but for

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9

Bugs, Elections, and Banning...oh My!

6 • Day 286, 09:49 • Published in Turkey Turkey •

My fellow eTurks -

Today, is the day we begin to starve. We are unable to eat even when we have food...the apocalypse must be upon us! The signs of the apocalypse are everywhere! Our dear friend Spider has been permanently banned (http://www.

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14

I'm Back

19 • Day 284, 10:13 • Published in Turkey Turkey •

My fellow eTurks-

I left and returned in a rather hurried manner, so I would like to fill you in on all of the details. After the rather untimely death of Phaedrus Lidox, I was reeling with grief. He was the one who brought me here, it was He

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