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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.

You like beer?

Day 445, 22:48 • Published in USA USA

• by Mr. Picklecopter

You like beer?
Well I got news for you, you support the monkey mafia.

Beer. Run by the Monkey Mafia.
That's right - every time you buy a beer you are sponsoring violent crimes against the common man. There have been multiple trials but no convictions. But come on! Everyone knows. The Monkey Mafia are pulling the strings. ALL the strings! How deeply is the government intertwined with them? Who knows, but I wouldn't shake my governor's hand, I'll tell you that much.

What's it going to take before someone stands up against these monsters? This organized monkey crime syndicate has lived the easy life for too long already.

Monkeys are responsible for over 96% of the crime in this country. Look it up. It's a fact.

Comments

Hari Michaelson Day 445, 23:02

Too bad the government isn't willing to listen to the common man.

Damn them and their banana addictions.

Hairball Int Day 445, 23:22

First!...and...uh, wow.

Hairball Int Day 445, 23:23

Damm dirty apes! I went to get coffee and didn't refresh. Glory has been stolen!

Ananias Day 445, 23:31

Damn simian trash, Dio has a special banana-free zone in eHell reserved for their kind!

brb...there's a knock at the door...and, oh no, was that feces that just hit my outside me living room window...maybe I won't brb..

Inwegen Day 446, 00:26

I love beer!!!!!

Lester Snopes Day 446, 17:21

GOD DAMN THEM!!!!
IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG!!!
GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF ME YOU FILTHY APES!!!!
STELLA!!!!!!!!!

Finbar Azulos Day 447, 01:40

Indeed.

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