Why I Write and a New Name

Day 2,022, 16:40 • Published in USA USA • by Dogpyle

*please note - the below links do not necessarily reflect my views or opinions in the game. They are well written, coherent articles that have caught my eye or, at the very least, are articles that contain well written information about the goings on in eRepublik.*

Derp... Lol!
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/soooo-i-hear-servians-took-georgia--2269521/1/20

Stop! Collaborate and Listen. Or read. You could do that too.
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/geography-for-dummies-2270449/1/20

Good points.
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/one-nation-in-a-global-game-2270432/1/20

Derp... love it.
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/erepublik-cares-feed-me-fourthmeal-2270512/1/20

New Journalist of the week
acolide - Soaring Above the Rest
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/the-outlook--2270916/1/20


Want to start a paper but ain't got teh gold? PM Dogpyle for assistance



Why I Write and a New Name
I love writing this paper. I truly do. Though every now and again, it starts to feel like a chore. Real life starts to get busy and frantic, and that (self imposed) deadline creeps closer and closer... But then I start typing up some gibberish, get a good flow going, and I remember why I enjoy it.

There are articles that I have written, sitting on my hard drive, that are so over the top, or so far out in left field, that I know the ban hammer would come down like a 10 pound (that's 4.5359237 kg, for you non-Americans) sledge, or nobody would get them but me. But they sure do make me laugh. Sometimes I try to edit them down to reality, but then they lose that flair and just sit, like some little kid on the stoop that didn't get his way. C'est la vie.

Every now and then, I'll write an article that is so bad (I'm talking habanero chilli and ice cream farts bad) that I actually consider (briefly) just giving it all up. I used to just delete them, but now I have a special folder for the stinkers, so that when my head starts to swell and I can't fit it through the dungeon door, I just open up that folder and read one or two. Brings me back down to earth pretty quick.



My last bit on vote buying was almost one of those. I was tired, my deadline was closing in like a junkie to a crack pipe and I just couldn't get it worded the way I wanted it. It was publishable and got my thoughts across, but I can honestly say that it definitely was not my best work. But I digress.

The main reason I enjoy writing these articles, Dear Reader, is you. Now, DP ain't trying to get all sappy on ya, or trying to get in your pants (well, some of you, maybe), but it's true. I've made some pretty good efriends through this little paper, and truly enjoy interacting with all y'all in the comments. So, while I do it because I enjoy it, I enjoy it because of you. Thanks eReppers. You guys are the big bomb. (Keep those comments coming!)

With that said, I've decided my paper needs a new name. When I first started this little venture, I had absolutely no confidence in my writing abilities at all. I mean that. None. I fully expected a horde of angry ecitizens with torches and pitchforks to run me out of town, hence the name: A Steaming Pyle of... I figured if it was that bad, I could just say that you were warned.

Turns out; I'm not half bad. Hell, some of you even like me. So, to reflect my new found awesomeness, let's come up with a new name for this periodical. I'm kind of diggin' on Doggie Style (thanks to Phoenix Quinn), but am completely open to suggestions. Heck, we may even make a contest out of this if I get enough good suggestions. So what say you, eRepublik? What should we call this Steaming Pyle of...



*Got a burning question? Does it burn when you pee? Then ask Dogpyle! With over forty years of experience in B.S., it's guaranteed he'll be able to answer your question, however incorrectly. Submit your questions by PM (subject: Dear Dogpyle) and receive 1 gold if your question is used in print. Remain anonymous by request.*

Dear Dogpyle,
Who is you favorite band besides Iron Maiden?
Signed, Clydeo

Dear Clydeo,
Tough question. For those not in the know, we (rea😛 I) have established on the EZC forum that Iron Maiden is THE. GREATEST. BAND. EVER. This is not open for debate and your arguments are invalid.

Aside from Maiden, I love all kinds of music, from smooth jazz to metal, and I don't think it would be possible to single out one other band. The reason I love Maiden so much, is they are the band that really sparked my interest in music. Steve Harris is the reason I'm a bassist. If had to pick favorites (I can't pick one, just not possible), in specific genres I would have to say Joe Satriani, Megadeth, Dream Theater, Diana Krall, and Tribal Tech are always at the top of my list. I also love symphony orchestras as well, though I couldn't pick a particular symphony or conductor.



Dear Dogpyle,
Y no piks of chicks?
Signed, Porn Blocked at Home

Dear Porn,
Once you get to my age, gratuitous boob shots while nice, don't quite have the swag they once had, not too mention the fact that I have had more than my fair share of real boobs up close and personal (being in a band has its privileges). As far as putting hot chicks in my articles, I don't see the point. I feel my writing can almost stand up on its own. Also, (speaking of real boobs) when I left your house this morning, your mom said if I contributed to the delinquency of her minor, she'd kick my ass. Sorry, no boobs for you.



Dear Dogpyle, I see what you're doing with Bia and I think it's amazing, so my question is, how do I became as f**king sweet as you?
Signed, Yenchizzle

Dear Yen,
I get a good number of PMs concerning Bia (kinda makes me laugh), and what the hell is up with us. I was tempted to address that here, but that wasn't your question, so here you go:

First, to be as f**king sweet as me, you have to be raised by the awesomest single mom in the world. Since I have that market cornered, you'll have to settle for second most awesomest (no offense to all other moms).

Second, to be as f**king sweet as me, always remember: She comes first.

Third, worship the ground she walks on.

Fourth... Oh hell, I have no idea... Ask Bia.



Dear Dogpyle,
It burns when I pee. What should I do?
Signed, Not so Bright

Dear Not Bright,
It was inevitable that I get this question, wasn't it? I am only surprised by the fact that I didn't get it the first week. The first thing to try, is to stick it in ice every time you take a leak. If that doesn't work (and it won't, but the image of you trying really cracks me up), go see the doctor, you moron.



Dear Dogpyle,
Is Artella the worst Poteus we've ever had?
Signed, Artella Sucks

Dear Sucks,
I wasn't even going to touch this one, but then I thought that this could really spark some debate in the comments, so here it is. Congrats, you get a gold. Do I think she's the worst? No.


(I hope y'all enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy answering them. Keep those questions coming!)
(As always RSVC)

Peace, Love, and Happiness. Dogpyle out.