White House Press Release #118: Emergency: Defend Croatia

Day 975, 16:06 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room

Ladies and gentlemen, this is it. I’m sure you have seen California is under attack. The Russians have been invading us since the war module was released, and now they’re attacking us where it hurts. California, a hub for our business and our economy. It is quite possibly one of our most important states.

The administration has had to make its share of decisions this month, but this is one of the most important, and we need your help and cooperation.

Do not fight in California!


The flag of a true ally

Croatia, one of our most supportive, helpful and loyal allies, have issued a call for help. They need us to help them in their last stand. Losing this battle would wipe their nation, giving open citizenship which would make them fall victim to a PTO. When our allies ask for our help after having faithfully fought with us and for us for so long, we have to listen. Yes, the Russians are coming to California. Let them come. Let them have it. We know that in the same situation, when we were down to our last region, Croatia was there for us. It’s time to return the favor.

There will be a day for an epic battle for California. There will be a day when we march to the battlefield side by side with our allies and push Russia out of our country. But it is not today. Today, we sacrifice our beloved California to the Russian horde. We do this not because we cannot win the fight, but because our allies matter more. Many of you will be upset with this decision. We ask you to pour your feelings out in articles, send hate mail to the Secretary of Media (he loves it!), or even tell the president. But do not disobey DoD orders. Fight for Croatia.

We may well lose California today. If that is the case, we will need to evacuate immediately. We are asking citizens to move to Florida. Tickets can be requested from the Flying Unicorn Squadron.

Now is not the time to be a selfish nation. Now is the time to stand up to Phoenix and show them that together, we can defeat them. If Croatia loses this, the consequences will be dire. We’re not going to let that happen.

Check DoD orders for more detailed instructions on where to place your unit. Meet us in #defense on Rizon IRC for real time battle coordination. Let’s save Croatia together. Grab some weapons and meet us on the battlefield.

‘Til next time, America,

David Landon
Secretary of Media

Gulden Draak
Deputy Secretary of Media

HobbitTon
White House Staff Writer

Kentel
White House Staff Writer