What Part of No Don't People Understand?

Day 818, 08:59 • Published in USA Bolivia • by Arjay Phoenician


Many Americans probably remember the big ballyhoo I made in early December, when the Jewitt administration declared war on Japan and invaded Kyushu. I had a lot of criticism for former President Jewitt, but this particular gripe of mine had a very simple logic to it, one that even Emerick the Great couldn’t comprehend when he and I had an IRC public discussion on the matter:

No means no.

I had a similar argument with a friend of mine in Croatia, he sought to correct me on the details of a remark I made concerning his country’s recent invasion of Austria. While he informed me that a deal had been in the works, that the plan was to give Austria a Q5 hospital (the usual price for a country to sell itself out) in exchange for letting Croatia run through to get to Western Europe, where the rest of EDEN is dogpiling on France, at the eleventh hour, the Austria government backed out of the deal. Croatia, just like the US two months before, said screw it, we’re invading anyway.

What part of No don’t the aggressor countries of the world understand?



Croatia was put in the same position the US was in December. Previous administrations had worked with the Japanese government to secure a deal to use the “doorway” to Asia, Kyushu, to set up their military camp on mainland Asia in the hope of liberating China and India from their various Phoenix masters. Plans were made, but at the last moment, Japan rejected the idea. The US decided to invade anyway, making Phoenix actually, momentarily, look like the good guy, upholding Japanese sovereignty, giving credence to their right to self-determination, and maintaining the simple truth that any country seeking to act on concepts like liberation and freedom needs to accept:

No means no.

The proUS and proCroatian sides told me up one way and down the other, these plans were good to go, all sides were in agreement, the concepts weren’t jammed down the other country’s throat, all the i’s were dotted and the t’s were crossed. They were revving up their war machines, they were frothing at the mouth, and just as they were about to launch once more into the breach, that most irritating of nuisances jumped into their faces:

No means no.

It doesn’t matter what the ultimate goal is, folks. No means no.

Americans were talking major trash about Japan, the Righteous Nation, and then-President Dokomo. Some were taunting them, some were making the argument that the invasion was for the “greater good”, some made the childish complaint that if Indonesia could use the “doorway”, why couldn’t they? The problem with any justification of the action is, no matter the argument, it requires you momentarily suspend your belief in such noble notions like democracy, self-determination, and sovereignty, and when you do that, you no longer stand for those noble notions; they become punchlines, bumper sticker slogans, excuses.

I don’t believe Croatia wants to steamroll through Austria in order to liberate anyone, they just want in on the action, hence the “greater good” argument isn’t applicable. The even more basic argument, however, does:

No means no.

It’s a concept we’re taught when we’re toddlers, just learning to speak, just beginning to understand language. It’s one of the very first words we’re taught. No, Arjay, don’t stick that pencil in your mouth, you’ll choke. I said No, you can’t have five dollars to go to the arcade to play Donkey Kong all day. I told you, No, you can’t hang out with your friends until you finish your chores. As we get older, we start to realize that No isn’t just a word parents use to control their children, but an empowering word we use to set boundaries and ward people off. No, Arjay, my Dad will ground me if we hang out past my curfew. I don’t care, Arjay, if you paid for dinner, No means No, so accept this goodnight kiss, because that’s all you’re going to get.

I truly hope these eAmericans and eCroats, the ones who don’t understand the concept that No means No, don’t intend on dating my real-life daughters. With that attitude, they can expect me to be chasing them down the street with a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it if they don’t respect the No.

This is a game, and many people tell me to stop bringing in real-world concepts, mostly as a way for me to stop putting the spotlight on them when they do things even they believe to be wrong, but it’s just a game, so screw Arjay if he has a problem with it. Like any game, however, there has to be a level of a real-world concept called trust, or else social games just don’t work. An employee trusts his company has enough money to pay for him to work that day. Generals have to trust their soldiers will show up on time for a key battle. Governments trust their ministers will be their every day to perform their daily tasks to keep the country vital and safe. As such, your word becomes your bond, and that trust is built upon those bonds getting stronger. If you can’t respect the No, how strong can you possibly build your social network, if you can’t be trusted with something as simple as respecting the No?

And No, it’ doesn’t matter if plans were in the works for months in advance, if the other party wishes to back out, the plan is null and void, and if you blow the No off and decide to go through with the invasion anyway, you’re the bad guy in this, completely and unequivocally. You can point fingers all day long, you can blame the other party for reneging on the deal, but ultimately, they said No. If you go ahead and do whatever it is you were going to do anyway, that’s your business, just don’t complain about it, don’t try blaming the other guy, don’t cry when your neighbors suddenly stop trusting you, and don’t make excuses. You gave the middle finger to the No, you need to man up and accept the consequences for your actions.

I have yet to find the government ballsy enough to step up and say, yeah, they said No, but we did it anyway, deal with it. The Americans sought to justify ignoring the No with the “greater good” argument, hence, they made excuses. The Croats I’ve talked to are all pointing fingers at Austria, it’s their fault, how dare they act on their own self-interests, don’t they know a deal is a deal?

A deal is a deal when two parties not only agree to terms, but carry through. If one party backs out, the deal is off, and the other party accepts it as such. Countries like the US and Croatia can’t blame the other country for backing out, apparently on some level, the deal was not acceptable. The mature and professional thing to do is not to ignore the No and carry through anyway, making excuses and pointing fingers all the while, but rather, to go back to the drawing board, find out what went wrong, re-examine the plan, and make it better. Instead of crying and calling names, how about a little reflection, a little understanding, trying to figure out why the other party backed out, go back to the drawing board, find the problem, and correct it? What’s wrong with that as a way to deal with the No, instead of blowing it off, doing your thing anyway, and pissing everybody off, all the while you making yourself look like a thug who can’t be trusted and will say to hell with anyone who gets in our way?

I have a deal with my real-life boss, I work for him to the best of my abilities, and every two weeks he pays me. That’s the deal. If I back out of the deal and decide to work elsewhere, I doubt my boss is going to say, screw it, Arjay, a deal is a deal, and I’m going to pay you whether you show up or not. Conversely, if my boss blew all his money betting on the horses and can’t pay me, I’m not going to say, Boss, you’re backing out of your end of the deal, but a deal’s a deal, and I’m going to work for you, whether you like it or not.

As such, if Japan or Austria back out of their ends of the deal, the deal’s off. Period. The US and Croatia have no more deal to work with. Their invasions, no matter how they spin it, are unjustifiable.

That’s my answer to these sorts of situations. It’s a very simple premise, but apparently not one so easily grasped. Infants know what No means, why don’t the governments of the US and Croatia?