Weekly Entertainment CAN. Issue 10

Day 565, 13:23 • Published in Canada Canada • by Stoners Canadian Exports

How are my readers? Hopfully good, just here again to bring you your usuall weekly mild entertainment. I'm still looking for TV shows to add to the Weekly TV list, but it seems most have the same opinion that there isn't really any good shows that start in the summer. There are a couple to watch though like Weeds and Entourage is comeing back. Check the Weekly TV list for a week in advance reminder of the release dates. Also looking for someone to write a comedic political column about anything and everything that goes on in eRepublik, I can pay now for every column written. However the first column you write for me will be a test one, I'll still pay but depending on the response of my readers will decide whether I will keep you or not, I'm not looking for something long just a minimum of a 2 paragraphs. Message me if your interested we'll discuss the payment then. Also don't forget to check out Weekly Cinema, it lists the movies you can watch right off your computer with out downloading just click and play, there are movies that still in theaters on that list! Again thank you for reading and please vote, also please subscribe if you haven't already and please notify me if you do, again thanks for reading.

Last Issue Subscribers:

eJapan- 1
24. ?????????

eCanada- 2
13. Octavian_F
14. Michael Galang

ePortugal-
2. Arthk
3. maverickws
4. Crespacio

Overall Subscribers: 66

UNKNOWN SUBSCRIBERS:

eUSA- 6

eJapan- 12

eCanada- 6

ePortugal- 1

If you have subscribed to my newspaper and have NEVER received a message titled "NEW SUBSCRIBER" or "Weekly Memo" that means I do not know that you have subscribed and should notify me as soon as possible please. If you do not notify me that you have subscribed then you'll not be eligible to take part in money prizes or free advertisement in 4 different countries, or a discount in Weekly Cinema, SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU SUBSCRIBE, thank you



This Week's Joke: IT

A man comes to a bar and yells: "QUICK!!!! Give me a glass of beer!!! Before IT gets started!!!"

A bartender goes: "What started?! What are you talking about?!"

"No questions. Just give me the beer, faster!!!"

He drinks the beer and screams again: "One more, hurry up!!! Before it gets started!!!"

"What started?!"

"Nevermind!!! Give me my beer!!!"

He drinks the second glass and continues: "Third glass!!! Faster!!! Before it gets started!!! Do it!!!"

Finally, the bartender asks: "Hey, pal. Are you gonna pay?!"

And the man goes: "Damn! It's started..."

This Week's Riddle:

I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man can't hold me for much
more than a minute. What am I?

This Week's Crosswor😛



Across
1) A platform built out from the shore into the water and supported by piles; provides access to ships and boats (4)
3) A chamber within which piston moves (😎
9) The warmest season of the year; in the northern hemisphere it extends from the summer solstice to the autumnal equinox (plural) (7)
10) An upward slope or grade (as in a road) (5)
11) A parent of your father or mother (12)
14) Take in food (3)
16) Any division of quantity accepted as a standard of measurement or exchange (plural) (5)
17) Become or make darker (3)
1😎 Take the place of or be parallel or equivalent to (12)
21) A metric unit of capacity equal to the volume of 1 kilogram of pure water at 4 degrees centigrade and 760 mm of mercury (or approximately 1.76 pints) (5)
22) A wicked or evil person; someone who does evil deliberately (7)
23) A cloth covering for a wound or sore (😎
24) A circular segment of a curve (4)
Down
1) Be of different opinions (😎
2) A punctuation mark used to indicate the separation of elements within the grammatical structure of a sentence (5)
4) An affirmative (3)
5) Advancing in amount or intensity (12)
6) Wander from a direct course or at random (7)
7) Any loose flowing garment (4)
😎 The office that serves as the administrative centre of an enterprise (12)
12) Any of various water-soluble compounds having a sour taste and capable of turning litmus red and reacting with a base to form a salt (5)
13) Form a mental image of something that is not present or that is not the case (😎
15) A building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented (7)
19) A visual representation (5)
20) Run away quickly (4)
22) A truck with an enclosed cargo space (3)

What's on TV this Week:

Sunday
Expedition Africa
A&E 8pm (3 stars)
Ice Road Truckers
History Ch. 10pm (Season 2 Premier) (3 stars)

Monday
Weeds
---Showtime 10pm (Season 5 Premier) (5 stars)

Tuesday
Rescue Me
FX 10pm (4 stars)
Deadliest Catch
Discovery 9pm (4 stars)

Wensday
Mythbusters
-Discovery 9pm (5 stars)
Reno 911
Com edy Central 1😇0pm (3 stars)

Thursday
Royal Pains
USA 10pm (? stars)

Friday
The Goode Family
ABC 8:30pm (3 stars)

Saturday
Pushing Daisies
ABC Saturday 10pm (Series Finale) (2 stars)

On Another Note:
Weeds: Were nominated for 3 different Emmys
The Goode Family: Moved to Friday's at 8:30pm
Enturage: New season premiers July 12th.
Reno 911: Moves to Wensday's.

New Movies this Week:

Theaters-
Imagine That: June 12th- 4 recommendations (comedy,RATE😨PG)
Moon: June 12th- 3 recommendations (fantasy,science fiction,RATE😨R)
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3: June 12th- 3 recommendations (drama,RATE😨R)

DVD-
Gran Torino: June 9th- 2 stars (action,crime,mystery,drama,RATE😨R)
Fired Up: June 9th- 4 stars (comedy,RATE😨PG-13)
Crossing Over: June 9th- 2 stars (drama,RATE😨R)

New TV & Movie Rating System-
5: GREAT MOVIE/SHOW! I would suggest this to anyone.
4: Pretty Good Movie/Show
3: It's Good
2: Alright so so
1: Horrible I'll never watch this
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Weekly Cinema is where I will post a list of movies that represents a selection of movies you can watch right on your computer. All you have to do is message me what movie you want to watch then donate the money and I'll send you a link right to the movie, so please enjoy. (You also my choose a movie that was once prevously posted)

Subscribers: $2

Non-subscribers: $4

Night at the Museum:Battle of the Smithsonian-(4 star Quality)
Terminator Salvation
(2 star Quality)
Dance Flick
(3 star Quality)
Star Trek 2009
(2 star Quality)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
(5 star Quality)
The Boat That Rocked
(2 star Quality)
Miss March
(5 star Quality)
Angel & Demons
(3 star Quality)
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
(5 star Quality)
Valkyrie
(5 star Quality)

Movie quality rating system-
5 star: DVD quality
4 star: HD cam quality
3 star: Good cam quality
2 star: Probably a few could put up with it
1 star: I'll probably never post these

All the money made here will all be for money prizes for the first people to solve the riddle and crossword puzzle, so please spread the word the more people the higher the money prize.

The Weekly Critic: The Land of the Lost (2009)


"Land of the Lost" is a seriously deranged movie. That's not to say it's bad, although some of its early critics consider it a hanging offense ("a pot of ersatz dinosaur piss" says Peter Keough of the Boston Phoenix). "Land of the Lost" inspires fervent hatred, which with the right kind of movie can be a good thing. Amid widespread disdain, I raise my voice in a bleat of lonely, if moderate, admiration.

The film involves a gloriously preposterous premise, set in a series of cheerfully fake landscapes which change at the whim of the art director. How else to explain a primeval swamp within walking distance of a limitless desert? Or to explain a motel sign from another dimension that appears there, with all of the motel missing, but plenty of water still in the pool? And dinosaurs walking the earth at the same time as early man, just like in Alley Oop and "The Flintstones"?

Will Ferrell plays Dr. Rick Marshall, a scientist who assures Matt Lauer of NBC's "Today" that he has discovered a way to solve the energy crisis by importing fossil fuels from a parallel dimension. Lauer informs him that respectable scientists think he's mad. Like who? "Stephen Hawking," Lauer says. Dr. Rick goes nuclear: "You promised you wouldn't mention that!"

Marshall has in fact invented a machine that will transport him to one of those other worlds and is encouraged to try it by the only scientist in the world who agrees with him, Holly Cantrell (Anna Friel), who was thrown out of Cambridge for saying so. For reasons far too complicated to enumerate, they are joined in their journey by Will (Danny McBride), a fireworks salesman and part-time guide to a mysterious cave. Their cave tour strangely includes a river that seems to originate in thin air and flow into an artificial mountain before sucking them into a vortex and depositing them in -- the Land of the Lost.

There they become friends with Chaka (Jorma Taccone), who belongs to a tribe of Missing Links and offers convincing evidence that in his land the straightening of teeth had not been developed. Luckily, Holly speaks his language. Yes, speaks his language, indicating that the movie will do anything to get to the next scene.

There are many jokes about dinosaur manure, dinosaur urine, dinosaur intelligence, dinosaur babies, and dinosaurs' hurt feelings. Also blood-sucking insects, carnivorous trees and the soundtrack from "A Chorus Line." The use of the songs is utterly wacky, of course, which is why I liked it.

The movie is inspired by the 1974 TV series, and has the same producers, Sid and Marty Krofft. The show and the film will never be confused, but they share one thing in common: deliriously fake locations, props and special effects. The dinosaurs are so obviously not really there in shots where they menace humans that you could almost say their shots are about how they're not really there. Confronted with such effects, the actors make not the slightest effort to appear terrified, amazed or sometimes even mildly concerned. Some might consider that a weakness. I suspect it is more of a deliberate choice, and I say I enjoyed it.

I guess you have to be in the mood for a goofball picture like this. I guess I was. Marshall Fine says it's worse than "Night at the Museum," but I've seen "Night at the Museum," and Marshall, this is no "Night at the Museum."

The Weekly Critic gives a 4 out of 5.
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