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Votes (S.E. issue I)

Day 1,882, 21:37 by Raven Anarcho

In this rare special edition I will not only blow your mind, but inform you of much unsettling information. A contest is included with sexy pics at the end.



VOTES

People of the eworld, I come to you to ask your assistance with a problem that has been going on long enough: Vote Buying. This is the pure foulest of foul, sourest of sour that scum of our world continue to partake in. It needs to stop... after this article.




AGENT REPORT I

I.R. HQ has sent out agents to infiltrate admin's base of operations. Agent I was able able to find some interesting information. Along with the new map system admin will be adding a new useful tool, the pointless DEBATE button. That's right... please read on...



As you can see, by clicking on the debate button annoying players no longer have to type in the same paragraphs of garbage that nobody cares about. NOW erep will actually scroll through all of your previous comments of recycled debates, combine random sentences if they can find enough variety and BAM! Posted for you!

AGENT REPORT II

While digging in the trash (dont ask...) another agent discovered some disturbing intel. This crumbled up paper once belonged to a member of admin. WARNING: this information is painfully true:



AGENT REPORT III

Agent I also hacked into admin's main server and discovered even more shocking news... 3 nights ago, admin had decided to add the rest of Africa to the game. Unfortunately without much population of players the following occurred within minutes...


Afterwards admin removed Africa again. Spolish officials have yet to comment.

SPECIAL EDITION CONTEST

That's right folks, it's prize time. Each contestant will get to choose between two options. People will buy ANYTHING: shiny rims, unknown japanese symbol tattoos, votes for articles, ect. (I one time saw an expensive "bug repelling bandanna" that was just a regular camo bandanna. WTF? No scent, no special material, but they say "bug repellent" and some moron will buy it to go hunting. Hey everyone, these shoes will repel bugs. I know they're used but that's still an extra ten bucks. Anyone wanna buy?)

Option 1:
SOOOOO give me the dumbest example you can think of regarding consumerism in the world.

Option 2:
Agent I reports that Spoland is thinking about dissolving TWO, and giving birth to a new alliance... THREE. We all know TWO stands for The World is Ours, so what will THREE stand for?


The best/funniest/cleverest answer for each option, selected by me wins 5 GOLD! Each person can only choose one option. Every contestant will win a whopping 100 health. That's enough to take out a tank on the battlefield!

I know it's not much, but since I spent all my monies buying votes giving to charity, I had to hire cheap child labor to work at my fishery. I can still assure you that I have the best fish this side of the Celtic Sea.

Enter your answer in the comments, remember only one option/answer per contestant.


SEXY TIME

As promised, some sexy pics to finish this masterpiece off.






For the lads:



And for the ladies:



-R.A.

Issue Song:
Dead Milkmen - Moron
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UzQ9kx1gT4

note: This article was generously funded by "voters club" friends through IRC

"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?" - Bill Maher


The Irish Radical issue #18

 

Comments

The Irish William Wallace
The Irish William Wallace Day 1,882, 22:07

voted, good article again Raven :]

Winston Hope Smith
Winston Hope Smith Day 1,883, 23:53

Got the cash so here is that vote I promised

Viktor Kurgan
Viktor Kurgan Day 1,883, 03:25

And several hours after this article was published admins offered factory upgrades......is that means the rest of that list is true also?

I thought this was just a funny article.....

Sean MacDiarmata
Sean MacDiarmata Day 1,883, 05:04

Lold so much at the admin stuff, tbh vote buying has been around for years. It won't go away cause there is money to be made in it.

Voted

Zordacz
Zordacz Day 1,883, 07:18

I do not always vote but when I do, I get paid for it.

Liam Tatlock
Liam Tatlock Day 1,883, 08:37

Thanks, I was waiting for that factory upgrade.

Cydp
Cydp Day 1,883, 11:38

Voted. Great article.

A Legend Killer
A Legend Killer Day 1,883, 11:50

I think there should be a little tune playing while we fight in battles. You know, give you some pump up music. I'd suggest a little Spice Girls.

Stilpo
Stilpo Day 1,883, 12:55

lold at the to do list

Releasethe Krakken
Releasethe Krakken Day 1,883, 13:24

good article but didnt need the vote buying stuff. not buying votes means you have a good measure of the articles popularity against other articles.

Damhnaic
Damhnaic Day 1,883, 21:42

Option 1:
« Even if I have a iPhone 5, I have to buy a iPhone 4, to see how my iPhone 5 is way better. »

 
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