VOTES FOR DIO! OWNER IS TAKEN WITH MYSTERIOUS ILLNESS

Day 10, 00:00 • Published in Pakistan Pakistan • by AgentChieftain

The owner of the respected media outlet dedicated to our glorious leader has succumbed to a common illness but has some peculiar side effects😐||ISLAMABAD, Pakistan- VOTES FOR DIO! HQ: The man responsible for one of the most well read newspapers in Pakistan has suddenly taken ill over the night. The doctors say he ran a high fever that is dissipating now and should be able to recover in time for the elections to "cover our great leader Dio Brando's second step to glorious /v/ictory."

The nurses were interviewed and had many things to say about the man's eclectic behavior. Apparently, due to a common occurrence involving feverish dreams, IRUKANJI was very vocal about the following events. He had this to comment when he asked a nurse to record his dreams for posterity.

"I dreamed strong... I was a Navy Seal, we were attacking some terrorists in a bizarre region where within two miles of each other were both African savanna and Switzerland's Alpine mountains. However, there was also a beach with high cliffs and our team of four had to descend through some caves to get to shore where some kind of African terror group took over the beach where many tourists still were. We managed to clear the beach and ended up in about 1.5 feet of water. Then I had the brilliant idea to throw all my grenades at once into the ocean. The others didn't stop me. However, I droped one while removing the pins and we scattered and dove in the water, no one was injured.

We returned to the beach to great applause and adulation but I went back to the road to clear the area and made casual conversation with a little blond haired kid.

An then I got the weird desire shave my beard off. I'm not sure why, I just want to."

No word as of yet has been published on his intension to shave as his advisers recommend for him not to make life altering decisions while in a feverish state. He still pledges to carry on strong as the Manager of VOTES FOR DIO! but some how the entire staff save one has been incapacitated by the same illness. VOTES FOR DIO! will not be publishing any more articles Friday due to a lack of staffing and illness.

(C) VOTES FOR DIO! 2007