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Vote Mitt, He Ain't No Twit

Day 1,836, 11:58 • Published in United Kingdom

• by Willard Mitt Romney

I think i'm qualified to be the next PM due to my exemplary qualifications, ingenuity and versatility. My status as a Mormon means that my First, Second and Third Ladies, will all be on hand to entertain foreign dignitaries whilst i'm hard at work (following in Bill Clinton's footsteps).

Additionally, my innovative ideas will revolutionise British industry, whether that's labour camps or a new line in automatic windows for airplanes, an idea which will become the Concorde of tomorrow, today. I hope I can rely on the good people of England-land's vote, I am endorsed by such leading figures as Donald Trump, John Major and of course, Charles B Darrow.

My main wife, is from Wales (a rather nice but remote suburb of London) and is a 'dab-hand' at making "Welsh Cakes" which surprised me due to the lack of chocolate, and cake. I promise to safeguard these "cakes", and withdraw from the Europe... by means of deus ex machina.

What is my experience? Governor of Massa-spell-this, as well as multiple time party leader and hopeful. I thank God for avoiding the draft in 'Nam and regularly fall out with Brits, Americans... the world, in the words of that great Nobel prize-winning scientist Dr Pepper... "what's the worst that can happen?"

I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve this message!

Thank you, and God Bless Amerengland.

And now some music from Willard Skynyrd

Comments

Aces man Day 1,836, 12:05

Nice political satire, voted and good luck.mitt! I'm sure the whole of England including the part of England called Scotland will be supporting you.

Willard Mitt Romney Day 1,836, 12:12

Thank you for your support - I have yet to visit Scotland but I must visit the sites on my campaign trail, Sean Connery tells me (from his lovely little villa 'Duntaxin') that it's rather nice. The First Lady of Scotland, Janet Krankie is a must, as is the First Minister, Mr Rab Nesbitt. They are a valuable export market for Irn and Bru, and that must be preserved for future generations, like the only remaining Loch Ness Monster which I believe is currently on loan with Chinese Pandas

Danie Fox Day 1,836, 14:28

Very good : )

Bohemond4 Day 1,836, 14:31

lol'd

MaryamQ Day 1,837, 05:24

Having voted against you in RL, I am hereby voting for you in this article!

Willard Mitt Romney Day 1,837, 08:06

Glad to hear it! I think I'm such a great man for the job, I'll be voting for myself twice

Prince Andrei Day 1,837, 13:57

"(The) whole of England including the part of England called Scotland"

Aces Man - With respect, go kill yourself. Slowly. Painfully.
Bring irl politics into erep, prepare for the worst 😛

Aces man Day 1,837, 14:32

Prince - it's satire. Take that chip off your shoulder, your difficult to understand with that Australian accent.

Willard Mitt Romney Day 1,837, 14:42

You say Scotland... I say England, you say Australia... I say prison - we need to get along you know, it's like pot-ay-toe and... well... pot-ay-toe

I'm actual a mutual friend of Mr Salmond, through our common overlord, Rupert the Bruce.

Sir Earl Sofiane Richa Day 1,837, 15:11

I do not see that this article convincing
And I do not see that you will present a program or even a political dialogue which shows foreign and domestic policy or economics or sociology

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