Twas the Night Before Christmas

Day 1,490, 23:01 • Published in USA USA • by Jon Malcom

I just entered this article into Fionia's writing contest.
Please vote it up so I can win!


AUTHORS NOTE:
Apparently chivalry and creativity are dead.

A recent article writing contest (see above) has opened up and Gordy Browning has entered "his" own article to win. Unforgettably "his" weak handed attempts at writing are so bad that he just copied my article and changed names.
Read "his" article here and after you're done vomiting please tell him to pull it down.
-Thank you.


And all through the game
nothing was stirring not even PIZ shame

Presents were wrapped, bullets and bombs
More ordinance to be dropped then ten Vietnam's

ONE to be fought, that next morning
But for now that much destruction made us all horny

Bia Pandora all dressed up as Mrs. Clause
The red bikini and high heels would surely gather applause

Oblige was asleep in his presidential bed
Pizza failing to win POTUS could only see red

Pfieffer was reading and shaking his fist
As soon as he saw he was on the naughty list

Gnilraps was hanging tinsel, the colors not decided
His shorts on the back in white said "PRESTIGE WORLDWIDED"

EDEN's greatest hero's had all gone to dine
Proving Romper could do max damage even at a buffet line

Kooguy had passed out after drinking way too much beer
Portcolumbus had gone fetal and whimpered in fear

Custer had written an article and fallen asleep in a chair
While Silverbead broadcasted Christmas over the air

Jude Connors layed down on the floor smoking a joint
And thought like all stoners "What is the point?"

Cody Caine and Molly Jo were a lot doing more than sleep
While StrangerHereMyself pulled out binoculars so he could creep

I was at home watching Cstarlight cook She was watching me and gave me "that look"

"It's Christmas, turn off that stupid game,
you're a grown man now, it's no claim to fame."

I closed my browser and thought about this year
All the fighting between Americans brought out a tear

"Don't worry for 2011 will be forgotten on a wiki shelf
It's the clean slate of the new year I can't wait for 2012"

She asked me if I wanted incredible sex while pouring wine in her cup
I said "I must be dreaming"
She said "You are. Now wake up."

And then we had sex.



Merry Christmas everyone.